The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is day seven of no fighting, arguing, or silence. I told my A last night that it is scary to me that he has come home every night after work and that I am so cautious that the other shoe will drop at any second. He jokingly said that it could and then said no, I want it to be "this way" between us. Not to say that he hasn't drank, he has. He mowed the lawn yesterday after work, a weekend chore he sometimes gets to. I know this is a blessing, this whole last week, but as I have posted before I dread Fridays. I have been able to talk openly about every topic this last week, he has listened and not always agreed but there have been no outbursts on either one of our parts. I can't remember the last time there was calmness in our home. Just last month I thought the marriage was over, we are still on very shaky ground, I let go and let God, maybe my HP has gotten into my A's head. Just wanted all to know I am fine, still working my program, nothing can stop me from taking care of me, but me......
It sounds like you are doing well. Just live each day. Plan something to do for yourself tomorrow. Friday is just another day after all (is that very Scarlett O'Hara or what?) He could get drunk or high any day of the week if he chose. He is an A after all. Claim Friday as your day!
Way to go Mary.... sounds like you are in a good headspace these days, and it is so true, that we need to focus on ourselves, and what WE need to do, as opposed to what the alcoholics may or may not do....
My sponsor once replied to a "sob story e-mail" from me with a response of "17". I asked him what he meant by that response??? He replied, very matter of factly, that I referred to my wife 17 times during the e-mail, and he wasn't going to talk to me until I brought that down to a number that is more indicative of ME showing that I was focussing on ME. I always loved that reminder.
Tom
p.s. yours is 12+, but who's counting?? lol
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
