Hi Confused,

I am so very sorry you are feeling this way.  I am feeling the same way you are.  I just wish it was over.  I can't handle the manipulation, the lies, the mistreatment, the distrust, the drinking, the stupid behavior, the mean behavior... the man in the bottle.  I've come to the point that it doesn't matter if he "meant it at the time".  Meaning it and following through on it are separate issues.  I've decided that I want to be treated better, that I don't diserve this treatment, that even though I am frightened at the thought, I am selling the business and divorcing him.

Hang in there.  You can survive this.  You have the power to make your life better.  Examine what you want and go for it.  It is scary, it is frightening, it is the unknown,  but it has to be better than what you are currently experiencing, and it will be your choice.

Sending best wishes.

Hello Confused , you don't say if your going to al anon meetings for yourself.If not I hope u will go soon for both your sakes .  I was told that a A cannot go home to an old idea and stay clean and sober.  I was also told tht I was the old idea .  Everyone  has to change not just the Alcoholic . i was not impressed when someone told me that . But I know now what they meant  even with a program I watched (he knew I was watching)  i slid  into victim role way too easy you know poor me  How could u do this to us? well he wasn't doing it to us he was doing it to himself  Al-Anon educated me about t his disease and my part in it.

My hsub slipped too , but thanks to this prog  I was able to leave the problem where it belonged with him while I continued on in my recovery.  I  had to learn to stay out of his face and off his back. and I believe that when your husb made those promises to you he meant them but this disease is way to powerful to handle alone and if he isn't reaching out may be too much to handle . Pray that he finds his way back and you will find your way to our rooms .

good luck  Louise