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I a having a REALLY hard time letting go today. My stepdaughter moved out 6 months ago. My husband and I have had custody of her since she was 8 and she is now 17. She moved back with her mother who for most of that time was not in her life at all. Years without contact. We had fought for custody of her for 5 years and it was not until one of her addict mother's connections agreed to go to court for us that she never went back. Well, anyway my A had been sober for most of those years, having picked up about 2 years ago and now newly out of rehab. ( an I think he has picked up AGAIN!) His exwife did not send their daughter to school much in the first two years of school, over 40 days absent each year. Once she came to live with us, she had great attendance etc...Highschool did not go so well, she has many issues of her own to work through and I have become the monster. I guess that happens when you are the only one around to set limits. So this is where I am at today. Her mother has not registered her for her senior year of high school, she barely passed her junior year. She and her mother have decided she should drop out and go to adult ed. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I am an 8th grade teacher, obviously I feel rather strongly abotu a good education. I feel like I am the only one looking beyond today. His daughter says she has it all figured out!!! yeah right. She is 17. He could not sign the papers, he is the sole custodian. How do I let go of this,? I feel like he is feeling backed into the corner. I told him I would not sign the papers, that it sends the message as the paper says that he consents to her dropping out and going to adult ed. To me the consent to do that is a big deal. She will be 18 in four months and could make that decision for herself, without him saying it is ok by him. To me it is simple. She may not go to school in the mean time, but it would not be with our consent. This was a big reason she left. We disageed with a lot of the choices she was making and tried to set boundaries. Of course she could come and go as she pleased and do as she wished, the law is on her side there. However, she chose to leave and go somewhere where she could continue to make those choices and have the approval of the adult. What a mess.
If you actually read all of this thanks!!! Any shares would be most welcomed!
Hello confused,as u said she is almost 18 and not under your care at the moment, u have nothing to say about what she does or dosen't do. In 4 months she is responsible for her self. As u know she can always go back and get her senior yr later if thats what she chooses to do, hold onto the fact that you gave the best u had to offer for alot of yrs she will eventually be grateful . she is a teen ager trying to find herself and re connecting with her mother (you think your confused) ? Have faith that u have instilled morals and values that will take her into her next step of finding herself
Something I always forgot was that my loved ones had thier own Higher Power and was watching over them and would take them where they needed to go. Let go and Let God and continue to love her , she needs to know that she has options if things don't work out with her mom. good luck Louise
thanks for the reply. oddly i think that right around when you were posting that message the same exact thought came to me. she does have her higher power. i realized i could obsess and be angry or i could let it go and spend my energy praying for her and that God would lead her in the right direction. wow!! maybe i am making more progress than i thought.
