The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This slogan helps us gain perspective. If we can take the time to think about what really matters to us, we may include such concerns as health, serenity, adequate food and shelter and loving support from others. Each of us is free to determine for ourselves what truly is of value, but most of us agree that we often get upset over matters of little consequence. Compared to whether or not we will have enough to eat today, now important is it if we over cook a chicken for dinner? What price are we willing to pay to win an arguement or prove to other people that we are right? How important is it if a call we have been expecting doesnt come through, or a loved one makes a choice we do not like? Does a partners unkind words in the morning merit a whole day of misery, obesession, and hostility? Does it merit five minutes of unhappiness? Does it really matter? Must we take it personally? Is it worth the price of self-recrimination, resentment of others , or hours of worry? Just "How important is it"?
Even if we decide that the situation is important, we can ask ourselves whether it is important today. Are we living in the unknown future worrying about things that may never come to pass? Today is all we have. Why waste the precious gift of time on trivial concerns when we could appreicate the fact that we have everything we truly need? The perspective we gain when we apply this slogan makes it possible to set aside petty worries, minor irritations, and baseless judgements so that we might celebrate the extraordinary richness and wonder that life offers. So today my friends do something nice for yourselves, and ask yourself when the affects of alcoholism starts eating at you,,,,,How important is it?...Hope this helps,,,,gardengal
As I read your post I was reminded of something that happened several years ago. My neighbor, who is also a good friend lost her then 38 year old husband to brain cancer. I often went and helped her care for him. She chose to have him die at home. For some reason HP put me there when he took his last breath. This was way before I entered Alanon and my A was making my life hell. I kept thinking that he was drinking away his life while our dying neighbor was desperately trying to hold on to his. The "how important is it" part came to me the evening the neighbor died. I came home to a drunk, nothing had changed but my attitude. I was so grateful to have that drunk safe at home. Grateful that he was still alive. Grateful that he could still be a husband and father. His drinking became much less important that night. Granted, living with him wasn't a bed of roses by any means, but my perspective took a drastic turn. There were many times that he would do things I hated, but then I would recall the feelings I had that night and it always got better. Many of the things we stress over are strictly internal. Like worry...how important is it that we worry ourselves sick and get all worked up? What does it accomplish? What does it change? Not a thing. What ever is going to happen, happens. The only thing we can change is something inside ourselves and ask "How important is it"?.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Wel GG that is my fav slogan , has saved alot of arguments in m y house. It is not important that I be right. I am done trying to justify why I feel the way I do about a decission I have made. it's the way it is and if I am wrong fine i will deal with it.
I can clean up the house and don't complain or leave the mess for the guy who made it. While biteing my tounge. Some one asked me once if I would rather be "Right" or Loved?"not much of a choice is it? thanks for the post Louise
I'm going to have to remember to take that slogan to work. Now I only wish the upper management would take that to heart. I have to wonder whether or not for some As, if the pressure to be perfect at work was eased just a little, then what?
The Chinese often talk about the 5 happinesses. They will often say: May the 5 Happinesses be upon you. 1. Wealth (monetary or otherwise) 2. Longevity 3. Good health 4. Virtue 5. Peaceful death in old age Then they add a 6 one, but they don't tell you what that is. When you ask them, they simply reply: You must decide what that happiness is all by yourself.
So my question is this: What's your 6th Happiness? Is it coming home to a sober loved one? Or is it just coming home to the person you love? Is it taking time to laugh when the squirrels go a bit crazy in the fall? Is it the sound of children laughing? Is it knowing that your never really alone when you have your HP beside you and friends like all of you? For me, it's the sound of my husband lying in bed at night snoring and the cat between us purring. Music to my ears.
This is my answer to How Important is it? If it's not part of 6th Happiness, then it's not important. You noticed that not making the bed, or doing the laundry on time didn't even get mentioned!
Love to all.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
