The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone. My name is Kristi and both of my parents are alcoholics and my husband is a drug addict. I want to talk about my husband right now. We have 2 wonderful boys together (my oldest is his stepson). When I met my husband he was 18 and I was 24. I am not exactly sure what I was thinking when he was so much younger than I but there was a force that brought us together. When we first met, I knew that he smoked marj. occasionally. I thought that it was more of a social thing than an addiction. I wasn't all that concerned because I thought with him being so young that it was just a phase. In 2000, when our son was born, shortly after that I found out that he was not only using marj, but also meth and cooking meth. I was devastated. About 3 1/2 to 4 years ago, he was arrested at a meth house. He was put on spent a short time in jail, went through a couple of 30 day rehab programs and out on probation. I thought that he would really change but he didn't. We have been through so much together since then. He has been arrested twice more on drug charges. He has moved in and out of our house. He has gone through a total of about 8 months worth of rehabilitation programs. Recently, while waiting on his sentencing in one county, he was arrested for violating his probation in another county. He has a long rap sheet. We went to court a couple of days ago and he was sentenced to another rehab and 12 years of probation. I was very upset.
I love this man with all of my heart and all of my soul. I have stood by him through so much, attended so many classes with him in rehabs. We share a bond that is much stronger than words. I feel like if that bond wasn't there, I would never have stood by him thus far. I feel like, as his wife, I should do everything that I can to help him overcome this addiction. I just don't know when enough is enough. His mom has always been there to give him money, bail him out of jail, bny him vehicles, phones and much much more. I have told her so many times after things I have learned in classes that all that she does only makes things worse. When will she ever stop? When will she make him pay for his own actions? When will he realize that this world revolves around his kids and not himself? Please help me understand.
The only thing that I could suggest to you, is to listen to your pain. YOU will know when you have had enough. Pain is a pretty good indicator of when to seriously re-evaluate our lives, and choices we make.
I too am new to this place. I met my husband on one of his "dry"/ "clean" spells. There are times he works really hard on being and staying clean, then his mind clicks and he decides to give up and give in. This past week was a not so good week for him therefore it was not good for us. I too wonder when enough is enough, but I do think that we will both get to the point where we do know it is enough. The point may ought to be sooner than we realize it, but when/ if that time comes we will be strong enough to do what we know we have to do. I do realize that our HP makes sure we can.
