I have now realize that I have let my program go. I haven't been going to meeting all the time like I used to. I have cut down. I haven't even open up the books at all to read them. I haven't been bring the book even to the meeting.

That has all changed. I have now started to pamper myself because this is a hard time for me and I need to get my engry back and get strong again. I have pulled the books out and now I am doing the question in the Path to Recovery book and I am reading about step one in the Hope for Today and the One day at a time book. I am trying not to force myself to move quickly I am trying to take my time.

I have though ask him many times if he is going to go back to a meeting and he has said yes, but I don't see him going, each day goes by and I am worried that time is going to past so much that he doesn't want to go back. So i am trying to let go of asking him if he is going to go and let it go. Which is very hard to do because I am a person that likes control. So letting it go is hard. I am hoping by not asking him he will go back. I am having faith that he will go back but I have to learn the patiences.