The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm FormalWare, but you can call me Bud. I'm part-time enabler/caretaker/doormat, part-time rageaholic control freak.
Alcoholism ran rampant over my childhood. I'm happy to say a 12-Step program (akin to ACOA, but with some John Bradshaw philosophy added) was instrumental in my Inner Child's recovery from that.
Now I find myself living with an alcoholic--my fiancee. We've both been married before (she to an abusive alcoholic; surprise!), and we both bring kids to this household. We've been together 18 months, now; things are horrible. I see, now, that they've been basically this bad since the first time she hit me (on a binge, beyond all control), more than a year ago.
I attended my first Al-Anon face-to-face meeting last Friday, and shall be returning; it's a warm, accepting atmosphere. But this was a no-brainer; to me, the 12 Steps might as well have been delivered from On High, engraved on stone tablets. I'm lucky enough to know what a difference they can make. In fact, my practicing letting go may have been responsible for my A, just yesterday, not contradicting or walking out on a doctor who was telling her she has an alcohol dependency. She knows I want her to call AA; if I continue to lay off, maybe she will.
Hello welcome to reovery, staying off her back and out of her face is a great place to start. Al-Anon will support you thru the rough stuff, always someone to talk to good or bad. keep going and looking after youself and kids, if u have teens try and find a Alateen meeting for them this whole family needs to recover. Good luck keep commin back Louise