I have known my husband for 6 years and married for 1 yr. We just to have very voilet fights, we would be physical with one another. He was at the time drinking and doing drugs. He used to tourtement me and I felt so alone. I would call me mom and cry my eyes at and feel as though I had no one to help me. I would cut my arm and throw glass, going looking for him all over the place. Call all the people that know him. I would call him all the time.

He was sober for 6 months so I put my guard down and trusted that things wouldn't go back to the way they were, and then in a blink of an eye things are like they never ended. I worry about what i am going home too, is he going to be my loving husband or going to be mad at me and blame me for everything.

I know there is nothing I can do about his drinking but it doesn't make things any easier. I am still having diffuclt about dealing with everything. The last time however I got stuff set up at my job that if I need to take some time off I got it. I have up to 12 weeks to take off. I can take it day by day. I just have to have my doctor write me a note and I know he will work with me. I also have the groups both on and off line. An some friends that will help me through this. I just got to let the help me, whether it will be staying at there house, or living there (my parents) but I am not alone.