Hope for Today - September 1

     After attending Al-Anon for a while, I realized
that self-care didn't mean as much to me as it
seemed to mean to other members.  I thought I was
doing a decent job of keeping myself clean and
healthy. 

#####ROSIE...yeah, when i first got here, to me taking care meant doing my job ok,  keeping myself clean and healthy but that was about IT.....

 after talking about it with my sponsor, I
became aware that although I did things to take
care of myself, I did them with a focus on other
people.  I did them because other people expected
me to do them, not because I cared about my own
well-being. 

#####ROSIE....for me it was the essentials, never again OVER the essentials,  i was "survival" minded , not  care or enjoyment minded.....and yeah,  doing what is going to cause me to "fit in- be accepted by OTHERS" was my motivation.....it would not be untill later, much later i would just di it for me, to care for me

Gradually I realized that while growing
up in an alcoholic home, I chose to ignore my natural
feelings of self-love and self-worth because they
didn't stop my parents from drinking or from
criticizing me.
    

########ROSIE.....i had NO natural feelings of self love and self worth, that was taken from me at a YOUNG age.....my parents put me down from sun up to sun down,  insults/ putdowns,   so i had NO sense of self love/ self worth,  so why was i gonna take care of me??? beyond hunger/ cold/ hot, etc thirst,  i was a zombie...numbed out 

 The more I work my program, the more I come to
understand that I am rebuilding my relationship
with myself.  Self-care is for me, not for others.
Now that my motives for self-care are in proper
perspective, I make an effort to ask myself what
matters in my life.  I ask for my Higher Power's
guidance before jumping into action.  I pray for
help in learning to love myself as my Higher Power
loves me.  The serenity I feel today when I do
things to take care of myself is proof that my
prayers are being answered.

#######ROSIE....NOW self care if for me, not for others.....and i do ASK, what matters in my life,  i pray for guidence before taking action/ making big change....i use my affirms to learn to love me as my hp does.........case in point!!!!    since doing my affirms,  i have gone on a TEAR in my house,  cleaning out closets,  throwing away old junk,   donating good stuff no longer wanted by me,   bags and bags of  trash and charitables,  cleaning up stuff  going from room to room  and  get THIS....i washed all my crystal dinner ware, and put it in the cabinets all nice and clean,  NOT waiting to use it on someone special, it is there for ME to use for ME...i am using my good/ nice stuff on ME,   i am doing this to please me.......i can tell i am loving myself more,   i am really making over my house,  getting rid of old stuff that was just making the place look cluttered and attracting dust......and i got MORE to do!!!!!!    yep,  doing stuff to please ME.....using my good stuff to please ME.......

Thought for the Day
     Self-care reflects an acceptance of my Higher
Power's love for me.

      

#######ROSIE...it reflects an acceptance of my higher power's love for me  AND my OWN love for me......if hp can love me so much,  why can't i???? and i am doin it!!!!

 "In Al-Anon we learn to pay attention to our
       own behavior, thoughts, and feelings.  We
       deserve this attention, and we need it."
             *Courage to Change*, p. 359
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#####ROSIE......i am more aware of me/ my thoughts/  my feelings/   the "committe"  is trying now to  contradict my affirms and i said   "NO....THIS is the truth!!  i AM loveable i AM acceptable and i AM ok  JUST the way i am...i am clubbing OUT the negative messages with messages of the good"....its called setting boundaries on the  inner critic who still comes out, but i shut her up with  boundaries, and  POSITIVE self talk.....i am winning the battle cause i am NOT quitting.....thank you,   DONE..rosie