The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am sitting here and just too overwhelmed to even begin to explain the way I am feeling. I just want to cry. What a mess I feel inside, and I thought I was doing pretty good. I did something that I should not of, I new it would trigger all this emotion but did it anyway. A simple thing, I took the phone when my son told my stepdaughter that her dad was not home. She left about 6 months ago and I have tried to just detach and let all the screw ups fix it for themselves, that being my A, my stepdaughter and her addict mother. I raised her for the last 9 years and well.... too long of a story, too deep of pain. I should not have spoken to her. The ironic thing is that we actually had a nice conversation and I was able to tell her some things that she needed to know. but still I am left with this horrendous feeling inside me. Being in contact with her is just too painful, What a mess. Anyway, I feel like any minute progress I was making to feel just a bit better is out the door. Lonely, sad, hurt, frustrated, used the list could go on and on.....YOu know what, I am going to go tuck MY sons into be and get hugs and kisses from two great boys who love, respect and appreciate me.
It does get better and easier with time. I like your plan about your sons!!! My kids always make me feel better weather they know it or not!!!
I have done the 12 step tango alot especially in the beginning but I have come a long way and so do other people so you know that the possibilities are there.
