The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Its been a rough couple of weeks, I am grateful for the tools I learned in Al-Anon to help me but its still tough.
My recovering addict boyfriend has been avoiding me the last couple of weeks, he claims to be working 60 plus hours a week, hes not been going to meetings, hes not called me every am, he says hes avoing everyone including his family, says he can only be accountable to one person ,his mom ?. He says he is overwhelmed financially, work, he misses his daughter (exwife moved out of state and he doesnt know where they are) the list goes on and on.
I am suspicious he is using pills (cant control it), I havent questioned him. He has stated he is not using. His personality has changed- except for the past two weeks, hes been kind, loved me, great communication, I am stunned really.
We have been so close, I miss him terribly and dont understand his avoidance of me. I see this relationship dying right before my eyes. When I spoke to him a few days ago, we didnt talk about us, only about some work he is doing on my house, I kept the conversation brief but I was weeping, I suspect he knew. I have been stiffling my feelings and following my Al anon tools but it just that day he called at a bad time. I didnt bring up the subject of us and got off the phone as quickly as I got on.
Not sure if anyone can help other than me but I feel better for sharing my disappointment and that I do miss the "real" him.
When things are tough with my A and myself, I throw myself into working on and doing for....ME.....Hang in there, remember you are right where your supposed to be...
I know your pain all too well, my "A" and I went through a year long seperation. it was a very difficult time in my life. I missed him so much, and I ached for him. The thought of him moving on was heart wrenching.
It turned out to be the best thing in the world for me. I lived on my own for the first time ever. I so focused on my alanon, the growth of that year was truly amazing. I still missed him, and it was hard on our daughter. I also was pregnant with our second child. I felt that I could not escape him.
I took the focus off him, and put it back on me where it belongs. Alanon saved my life, and for the first time I had to learn to ask for help, to lean on the strength of the members of the program, and to find my HP.
One Day at a Time!
Much Love,
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
