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Something in the chat room just sparked a nagging question that I have had for awhile. I thought that someone might be able to relate and/or offer some wisdom. My A has been sober for about 30 days. Prior to rehab he seemed to have a lot of mania along with his increase in drinking and smoking pot. I spoke to him about it. Buying stupid things like a 10 ft. african statue that I would not have paid tow cents for but he paid hundreds and HAD to have it. It seemed that whenever he got an idea in his head he had to go through with it regardless of the consequence and often they were ideas that strained us financially. Do you think this is associated with the alcoholism, a vicious cycle or what?
My A is bipolar so we have a double edge sword. I work at a treatment agency and it is a well known fact here that after 2 to 4 drinks your judgement is impaired, sooooooo there goes impulse control. My A makes impulsive choices all the time. I think my favorite is to borrow money from a friend and then think that the household money should cover it. There has been a stop put to that.
My "A" does the same things as well. He has been obsessed with sail boats, now a cruise around europe, before it was furniture, pretty much anything. He obssess and drives me nuts. We don't have the money for huge purchases, thank God, but if we did I know I would be out on his boat right now sitting on a new chair talking about europe.
I just let it go, and let him make his own bed.
You are not alone!
Much Love,
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Mania involves more than just poor impulse control with spending. In some cases, an alcoholic or addict may have a dual diagnosis involving another mental illness, such as bipolar disorder, which also needs to be treated, usually with medication. When someone is under the influence of alcohol or other chemicals, they may show symptoms of other disorders because of the substance they are using, and not really have the other disorder. Until an alcoholic or addict is clean and sober for awhile, it's hard to know if there is another disorder. As a mental health worker, and Al-Anon member since 1983, I would suggest you keep your eyes open to what's going on. Take whatever steps you need to ensure your financial situation is as safe as you can make it. As time goes on and your A is totally clean and sober, you will have a better idea of whether he needs further professional evaluation for a mental illness. It is not unheard of for someone to be misdiagnosed as "mentally ill" while he is using alcohol or substances, if the psychologist/psychiatrist is unaware of the alcohol or chemical use.
We have gone thru THOUSANDS of dollars...having a backyard tore apart to build a remote control racetrack-not to mention all the cars that were bought, not one atv but 4 w/in a month's time....remote control airplanes that could have paid our mortgage for a few months.
I have seen times of total obsession and lack of restraint. One good thing though, is that when we got married we both decided on seperate finances. So his "wims" are not my concern. Not saying it isn't difficult to watch him go on these sprees along w/the mental calculator that keeps ticking inside my head.
