The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have this friend from the past who is now my email friend, here lately I have done nothing but irritate him. I am a person who has problems with emotional highs and Lows, I try very hard to keep this to myself and not let it effect my life. But sometimes i can not mostly I let go on line that is the only place I would allow myself to feel what I feel.
All the other times I just push it all away,,
Well recenlty I really irritated a freind this is someone that really matters to me alot!!!
He tells me I am munipulative, tells me I don't take responsiblity, I am parnoid, and I am a know it all.
this is very upseting to me, I dont know what I did to be all these things, except the parinoid part, which I disagree with him on.
either there is something wrong with me Or something else is going on...
im upset about this, haveing a hard time with sleep, and just feeling really bad.
Camra when I first met my husband, I thought that I was just one of those people that you either love or you hate and if they hate me thats your problem not mine. I grew up with a very hard personality. I believed in being bluntly honest to people and I didnt even try to spare their feelings, I didnt take things very personal and I figured that if they were that sensitive then they deserved to be hurt, and that they need to grow a thicker skin. It took my husband 2 years of telling me that I offened people unnecessarily and 2 years of arguments because I loved the way I was and I didnt think that I had to change just to spare people. It got to a point that in a matter of a couple months I had everyone I new telling me what a horrible person I was, I was so mad at everyone else. Then it came to me. What is it gonna hurt if I go out of my way to be nice to people? I told myself that I would try it and see how aggrivated I got in the process, but I didnt and it actually felt good. I had thought this whole time that being nice was a sign of weakness and if I gave in, people would think that I was weak. I thought that though everyone told me that they hated the way I was that they still admired the fact that I was such a strong person. But I was wrong and now when I see people acting like I did, I feel for them. Like I said, it took 2 years of fighting and denial for me to get over it. And I still have a hard time sometimes giving people the benefit of the doubt. It is so easy for people to recognize when someone else has a personality problem but when it's you it's harder to see. "You can't see the forest through the trees" my Dad always said. But the fact that you have realized that you have a problem interacting with people, you are already on your way to making it better. Start by putting yourself in other's shoes. It's hard to change the way you are with people but it does feel better to get along with them. One thing I do know is that you should never compromise yourself in the process. Do good to others while staying true to yourself. It's a long journey but you'll get there and it feels so good when ya do.
Actually kimmie you just described my friend, He is exaclty like that, tells things excatly the way he sees them, doesn't spare anyones feelings, doesn't seem to care.
Im exstreamly sensitive careing person, but he can't seem to accept that type of friendship, its just the way I am, however I now understand his way of thinking,,,
I actually think he takes my ways offensively,,
Im a very sensitive person, and my feelings gets hurt very easily,,
