The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For those of you dealing with adult alcoholics, whether it be your adult child, spouse, parents, grandparents.... any addict who is an adult in your life in which you struggle to allow them to deal with their consequences.
I feel your pain, as I have a 17-year old daughter who has a medical condition and recently threw alcohol into it, which could potentially be fatal for her if this progresses, particularly because her medical condition is a seizure-disorder. I had to let her make some difficult decisions and choices that included her no longer living at home with me-- she refuses to possibly increase her medication to help treat with the emotional/behavorial problems she faces. She is 17-years old at 4th-6th grade academically, insisting that she can do things on her own--- Although, I feel I know differently, I let her go because what I began to realize is that I am NOT God and as long as I continue to act as if I am God in wanting to protect her and care for her as if I REALLY have some control over it that God cannot really bless her or I because I'm trying to take on His role for both of our lives. I am NOT a savior, nor is anyone else and we can love our children, family or any other sick person in our life, but ultimately is it their consequence and relationship that needs to be developed with God. Until we relinquish control we will remain just as sick as the addict.
Some of the most difficult lessons and circumstances that we are faced with are ultimately the ones that turn our lives around-- without the pain to deal with and having to face consequences, we never learn. I've been there so I know. Without being held accountable for our own actions we will continue to feel as if we are a victim and everyone else needs to take care of us. We don't ever feel empowered to find a way to survive and turn to God for our needs, pains, and life.
I let my daughter go.... Why? Because I trust God completely (WHATEVER HIS PLAN IS FOR HER LIFE) I am willing to accept the worst if that be His plan. I pray each day it is not though. However, it is not up to me NOR is it about me, her, you or anyone else. It IS However, all about Him. :) Once we accept that we can have internal peace knowing that everything is happening EXACTLY as it should be.
Your loved one is an adult... Definitely not a child and no longer your responsibility, but Gods..... Isn't it time for her to learn from Him? There comes a point as parents we have to let go to allow our children to learn their own individuality and in doing so, they'll be both good and bad outcomes.
sanddie............. Once we accept that we can have internal peace knowing that everything is happening EXACTLY as it should be.
rosie>>>>when i get impatient/ wanting to hurry up things or force MY will, i think of what you said above here.....this is SO true....everything is happening AS it should be AS it was written in our life charts.....to do diferent would net us negative results....this truth, helps me "chill out" and "go with the flow" even if i want things to "hurry up" some....thanks , nice share, sanddie.... peace/ rosie
