The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A has been after me to sign the lease on HIS apt where I lived until may
So he tried to bribe me
he gave me a nice coach handbag, to sign the lease
Well after that was a check for $2000 to sign the lease.
I took the pocketbook and the check and REFUSED to sign the lease.
I said that the lease signing was worth $14,000, the value of the lease.
Well My A had quite the fit about that yada yada BS this and that. And with enough recovery as I had i just listened and did not argue and did not sign the lease.
So yesterday he is 2 days sober (yet again) and is dealing with the lease.
He signs it and takes it to the office.
They are smart and catch on that I have not signed and ask him for HIS paycheck stub.
Well he tells them that he trades stocks for a living and does not have a paycheck stub.
So they make him pay $14,000 today for the years rent.
EXACTLY WHAT I HAD FIGURED OUT!
My A is furious! He says I told them I will show them my banking records yada yada.
He said, they told me I could take the money to Atlantic City tomorrow and blow it.
I said, well they are right and they have a business to run.
Just patting myself on the back for this one.
I wrote a letter to the apt people saying I had moved.
Now I am not liable for the apt or lease.
And that was my goal
On another note my alcoholic is sober 3 days.
You see, he has life decisions to deal with and must be sober for them.
I have stopped enabling him. I enabled him to within an inch of his life
He says he will go to AA. He has said this before. His recovery his choice.
megan
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Arent you glad YOU didn't have to pay it? Applying the $2000 + Coach bag cost to the rent would have been smarter. Well, Megan, you did the right thing...for you AND him. Good girl. Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I also said no to good friend,who wanted to get me involved in what I thought to be a dubious deal....i call them dd deals....dubious deals....my little voice said..."dd"! alarm.
He's a former a who quit because of serious health problems, a dry drunk, as i have learned here. He still has same habits as a , but thinks he has "dealt" with it, because he quit. Drinks coffee non-stop tho!!
He wanted me to sign up as security for a lease on a car. I advised him to stay away from the deal also. He got mad, of course, but 3 weeks later, he called to apologize and said I was right.
I know how much you loved your husband, and how kind hearted you are so I KNOW how much recovery you have to be able to handle this so expertly!!!
Thanks for setting an example for us all in great alanon technique...which means taking care of ourselves and keeping ourselves healthy while we also try to lift a hand up to others behind us.
You agreed to meet with him...
You met with him (on time I am sure)...
You treated him with kindness and compassion...
You REFUSED to enable him, but used your intelligence to think of a way you could help him help himself by offering to sign the lease but making him pay you in advance...smart...
You accepted his gifts (handbag and check) graciously...
You let him know that just because you left, to take care of you, does not mean you no longer care for him...you left the door open in the RIGHT way, that if he needs help and support in true recovery that you will be a supportive friend and be rooting for him...
You held firm and furthered YOUR recovery and perhaps helped him start HIS OWN also...
Truely an INSPIRATIONAL.. Thank you for sharing this with us.. It helps... when we read about all those who are so far down the road of recovery.. It gives me hope that someday, I will join you.
(((((((((((((((((((Megan)))))))))))))))))))))))