The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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I am freaking out. I just looked at our joint account and he took out more money, so in the past two weeks he has spent 620.00 on meth!!!!! What the heck, he could have paid his speeding ticket, and our son's daycare and, and, and and I am so pissed!!! I called him at work and he typically said that he couldn't talk about it right now and that I was making HIS day suck. Well excuse me, but you are making my whole life SUCK right now, buddy! I have checks that will bounce if they go through today so i have to transfer money again. money that we don't have. Whatever, I am going to go back to having my own account cuz this is bullsh*t . I'll let him worry about it. He says he didn't know about the checks. How could he not when he is the one that signs them?!?!?! Jeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzz, I'm going for a bike ride to let off this steam. I think I need to figure out a boundry for this one cuz taking money away from my children definately is not ok with me!!!
That truely does suck and I am so sorry that you are going through this!! I think that your own account is a very good idea especially since you have your kids and your self to think of.
When my hubby was waisting all our money on crap and leaving me with no money for the kids I did just that and opened my own account. As soon as his check went in the bank I took out what I needed and left the rest. This eased my mind a bit and helpped out alot!!!
I hope that you have a great ride and can find some serenity today if at all possible.
((((brown eyes)))) i am so sorry this is going on......i agree with jj, your OWN acct. wold be a good idea.....god i KNOW how you feel....my X "A" husband would spend money we did not have (cuz he was out of work AGAIN) on liquor and we are out of groceries, that I bought....than when i had no good supper to prepair, he would bitch cause "is that ALL we are having???" and he spent $50 plus on booze....so i know how you feel...i opened my OWN checking acct....and i refused to give him ANY $$ for his cigaretts/ liquor i bought food and essentials that was IT...i mean i gave him ZERO but shelter/ food.....than i got sick of that and left!!!!! he refused to get into recovery so i bailed......of course that was what was best for me...i know you will take good care of you as to what is best for you.....i can SO relate to you....it sucks.......peace/ rosie
I am sorry.....I know just how you feel. My A no longer has a debit card, he writes one check a week, that check book is at home, that is for family pizza night!!!!! I am seriously considering opening a seperate account. I have talked about it for about 6 months or longer, he doesn't do it all the time but once in while like 2 weeks ago, just helped himself to what he thought was "extra" money. Hang in there, know that we are all here for you.
Your own account sounds like a great idea. Drugs and gambling can make the money disappear like magic - When I found out how much money had been really spent in the 6 months before my husband cleaned up, I couldn't believe it! Here I had been doing all kinds of little economies, doing things the hard way to save a couple of bucks, and he's blowing 1000 bucks some weeks on drugs.
The disease will suck you dry. this why alanon teaches us to take care of ourselves.
For me that is protecting everything I have. I have it so the only thing the disease can still do is, break my heart. As long as I am in love with my sick husband, that is part of my life.
But the disease cannot touch my vehicle, money, home, nothing.
This is how I protect me. I worked hard for 18 years to have a home and stuff, I won't allow an evil disease take it from me.
debilyn>>>>>>For me that is protecting everything I have. I have it so the only thing the disease can still do is, break my heart. As long as I am in love with my sick husband, that is part of my life.But the disease cannot touch my vehicle, money, home, nothing.
This is how I protect me. I worked hard for 18 years to have a home and stuff, I won't allow an evil disease take it from me.
rosie>>>>>>wow, this is SO great, i didn't do this with my X, i lost my car/ money, thank god i didn't own a house and NEW truck and a BIT of money like i do now.....but yeah, god forbid i ever get involved with anyone who is an addict of ANY kind....my stuff is staying in MY name.....i pray to god i am recovered enough to only attract someone healthy and NON addicted......i worked hard too, and i'll be danged if i'll let anyone "disolve" me again.....thank for this wonderful reminder.....we GOTTA take care of ourselves......peace/ rosie
You do what you think you need to do to take care of you and your children.
I have my own account, my "A" can not have an account, because he has a past over drawn account that I refuse to pay for because he overdrew it to buy drugs.
If my "A" wants money, he has to ask for it. I don't ask what it is for, more than likely I don't want to know. I give it to him if we have it. He gives me his pay, I know he keeps some for him, but again I do not ask. In a way I feel weird that he has to ask for money, but it is not my fault he can not have an account. And if I can not give him the money I tell him.
I hope all works out for you, and will keep you in my prayers.
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
He is only doing what A's do drink and use that is all that matters when practicing his disease. A bank account of your own sounds like a good idea . Some one has to change and u can bet that it's not going to be him. yet! So If we do what we have always done , we will get what we always got. goodluck Louise
