The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I love people. Always have, always will. Even though I do keep to myself at times, I am a people person. I selectively chose to have as close friends in my life and they mean the world to me. Now I realize just how important having selective people in my life means.
Lately I have begun to realize just how precious they are to me. With the possiblity of being single again and having to stay strong for the sake of me and the kids, I have been blessed w/friends that have done nothing but support and love me for who I am. Friends who understand the destructiveness of addiction and who have wrestled those demons, who have worked an AA, NA or Alanon program and who know the importance of me taking care of myself. They don't allow me to get caught up in allowing myself to come second best in life. They want more for me just as I do.
They've allowed me to laugh, kick and scream, and cry to them. They don't put down the man that I love that has a disease. They help me see it for what it is. They are constant reminders to me that my HP is in control and if I do what I need to do life will work out the way it should. These are people who are bettering themselves everyday. Battling demons themselves, aware of what they have and can be. They have been to hell and back and show a strength in themselves that is truely inspirational. They are realists and never let me forget what the situation really is when I slip into an emotional nostalgia. These people have become as close as family to me.
Yesterday I got a voicemail from a dear dear friend, Bruce, a recovering addict/alcoholic. Reading an inspirational thought to me out of a book he tells me how he loves me, how proud he is that I am taking charge of my (and the kids) life and that if I need ANYTHING he is there. He was the one on Friday when I was falling apart let me nuzzle my snotty nose in his chest and just cry. Stroking my hair and letting me get it all out telling me that this is a process...my process. This is just one leg of the journey.
Then there is Mary Jo, a recovering alcoholic, who washed my face, put make up on me and did my hair because I felt so ugly. Who sat and made me laugh at how stupid life seems sometimes. Who could make me giggle even in my time of despair. Who took the time to call me when I came home and see how I was doing and gave me support to continue to fight for the life I wanted.
Brenda, who is another recovering alcoholic, who lost her children 20 some odd years ago due to her drinking. Who has been sober now for 23 yrs. Who, at one time, had nothing and was scared and who now is a successful real estate agent and just purchased her first home after her divorce. Who is helping me realistically look at some of the challenges I may be facing and helping me see my options. Another one that calls daily to offer her support.
Dean and Wendy..an amazing couple. Who take the time to listen to my irrational thoughts. Who understand and help me see the process of myself. Who make sure that I am taking care of me and that what I am going thru and feeling is normal.
And how could I forget my sponsor of 9 yrs? Dana, who has been with me thru the breakup of my ex, the start up of a life w/me and my two oldest kids, working and going to college. Who was there when I met my husband, was there to help us celebrate our marriage and the birth of our son. And who has been there during this downhill spiral of active alcoholism. This is the one person who I have shared some of my most painful moments and secrets with who has never judged me and w/the simples of words...I still love you....has shown me what unconditional love means. She never gets too busy to call daily to check up on me. To offer her support and remind me of how sweet life can be if I only take the risks involved to achieve it. She keeps me on track w/working the Alanon Program..helping me muddle thru my past issues and face today knowing that I deserve the best life can offer.
This is just a few of the wonderful people I have in my life. Today I am so greatful that my Higher Power has put them in my path. I know I am very fortunate that no matter what I am going thru, that I am not alone. The collective strength that I get from them is amazing. It feels like when I am just too tired to face another obstacle, they are there right along side of me. Words can not express who greatful I am to be blessed w/them in my life.
I am also blessed w/having an online community of others, who just like me, are working a Program. Who offer their support, encouragement and hope. Who don't know me from Adam, but care enough to take the time to respond to me. I thank each and everyone of you.
Friends are great when you have them to have "fun" with...friends are priceless when they walk thru the hard times w/you.
i have to say, that i don't have many friends to go do things with that are nearby. i moved to a new area a year and a half ago, moved in with my a boyfriend, and a few months ago left him. i have a few friends a work, but we are not "close" i'd like to start branching out and making new friends. i continued dating my a boyfriend from a distance, but things are not going so well for us now, and could really use some friends around here. i've been praying on this issue and have faith that it will happen, not to worry about it, but continue to do the footwork, be open to others coming into my life.
I agree, friends are so important and I feel so blessed to have 3 long time girlfriends that have been with me thru so much. One has been in aa for quite a while and has shared so much of her wisdom with me, i'm forever grateful. we often tell each other how much our friendship means to us, thru emails, phone calls, cards, etc. i moved 4 hrs away and don't get to see them very often, but i know that my hp has blessed me with these 3. another one of my girlfriends had dated a very abusive, physically and emotionally, alcoholic. After 5 years she broke up with him and started taking care of herself. A year later she met a wonderful man and is still taking care of herself. (By the way, her ex is now in aa and looking good working a program:) Anyway, each of my friends have inspired me to be a better person and to look out for myself. They don't waste their breathe judging my a, but are there to support me.
now i have (((alanon))) as well. i have made a few friends from online :) and have a ((sponsor)) who reminds me that it's up to me to be happy and i'm worth it! it feels so good to be able to call someone who really cares for you, and in alanon i find so much love and support, so if you're new, keep coming....lots of friends here
the best part of being a friend (to me) is being able to pass on the love, support, and understanding that others have shared with me.
Support is so crucial to our recovery. I don't what I would do w/out them.
What amazes me is I knew I would get support from others in Alanon, I never imagined getting the amount of support and honesty from those in AA or NA. It really helps me see a different sideto addiction...like they are allowing me to step inside their minds and let me know how the addictive mind works.
This morning my cell rang at 5:30. Sleepily I answered it to hear a voice on the other line...who gave me a few minutes to wake up and listen to the thought from the day that he read to me. Followed by a "this is a start to a great day if you remember to take care of yourself."
I thought how cool...he took the time to call me this morning..offer me support and encouragement. My HP does know what I need and is providing it for me.
