The material presented
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As all of you know because I have been so proud of myself, that things have been going great for me lately. Even though my "A" still drinks, I have been in a suprisingly great mood and working the steps. But today I just cant seem to help but be annoyed. I guess I woke up annoyed. Last night we went to my parents house to celebrate my sister becoming a regestered appraiser (my dads and certified appraiser). Anyways, everyone that knows my parents, knows that they like to party. And I hate partying over there cause they always get stupid and my dad (also an alcoholic) always turns into a know-it-all and wants you to know how superior he is, and how inferior you are next to him. Obviously an insecurity issue. And my mom just gets bossy and wants to shove food down my sons face until his diaper explodes. Well my husband wasnt planning on coming because he wanted to quit drinking and he knows he cant do that around my parents because they invented "peer-pressure". So I said "Ok Honey, you dont have to go then" So he decides to show up anyways, later that night. When he walks in my dad, of course, offers him a beer. And I didnt say anything. And he turns it down. Well after the 6th time in a 20 minute period that my dad offers him a beer, he takes it. And I still didnt say anything. Then later that night my dad tells us that they are all doing "Coke". I dont know why because neither of us do it. So whatever, we go home around midnight and I'm having trouble sleeping because I just cant stop thinking about how much I wish I had "normal parents". Ya know, the "anti-drug, dont party too much, wear clean underwear" kind. So we go to church and the sermen helps but I still feel annoyed about my family, and then we go home and my "A" goes to the store for beer (so much for quiting) but I didnt say anything and I wasnt suprised. And he's acting like an idiot like usual and I just cant seem to help but be so annoyed. And I even made a couple comments and told him that I having a hard time with his alcoholism today. And that I just dont want to talk. But I was doing so well and I am so disapointed in myself. I know we all have set backs and it's ok but it just sucks.
Dont be so hard on yourself. My husband also an a went a week without a drink.. Telling me he was going to get help and get his act together. Well, so much for that. His parents sound a lot like yours.. They have more alcohol in their house than food. Anyways, I had the same reaction. I was so dissapointed, frusterated and down right ANGRY.. I felt like we didnt mean enough to him.. He couldnt stop for a week.. I just had to keep telling myself, I cant control it .. I didnt cause it ... and I cant cure it.. OVer and OVER ..
I really dont have any great advise, just wanted you to know that I feel for you and that I did the EXACT same thing.
Hi Kimmie, I recently had the same feelings going on. My sponsor asked me why I would expect people to do anything but what they've always done. Yep, those expectations got me again..Damn! They weren't conforming to what "I" feel is right. So I guess I got busted for judging too. All these old behaviors sure are hard to UNlearn.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
As I write this my "A" is drunk and stoned. He keeps saying he wants to quit, but every night he comes home blasted. Always another reason to use. Hell if I put my mind to it, I could think of a million reasons for me to drink if I really wanted to. The one thing is, he lives for that escape, were I know the problems are still there and ignoring them does no good. I know my "A" wants to stop drinking/using, but wanting is getting him nowhere, and right now the acting on his desire to stop is too much work, and feeding his addiction is a whole lot easier.
Keep Coming Back.
Mcuh Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
