((((((((((((Confused))))))))))))),

Welcome you are in the right place!

When I read your share it took me back to my first meeting. This is what I heard at my very first meeting from the chairperson:

"We welcome you to the 'Friday Night Port Orchard Alanon Family Group' and hope that you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy."

"We who lived, or who have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We,too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Alanon we discover that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not."

"We urge you to try our porgram. It has helped many of us find solutions that lead to serinity. So much depends on our own attitudes, and as we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and ou lives."

"The family situation is bound to improve as we apply the Alanon ideas. Without such spiritual help, living with an alcoholicis too much for most of us. Our thinking becoems distorted by trying to force solutions, and we beocme irritable and unreasonable without knowing it."

It goes on from there. I remember being in so much pain that first meeting. But after I shared I felt a weight had been lifted. I cried and cried. I also carefully listened to the Experience, Strength, and Hope that was shared with me from the other people there that night.

I have been in the program for 5 years now (just realized I had an alanon birthday ) and I have learned so much. What really helped me in the beginning was the three "C's". 1) I didn't Cause his drinking, 2) I can't control his drinking, 3) I can't cure his drinking. I also learned to take things a day at a time. And if I felt overwhelmed, i'd break it down into hours, even minutes if I needed it.

Keep coming back. This program works. We are all living miracles that show how this program works.

Much Love,

hi confused, The best thing about this program is the slogans and simple stuff.

First, "Keep things simple." Wake up take a breath, take a minute at a time. If bad things come
into your head, say "stop" and put in, I will be ok today. This is my experience.

We learn to do one thing at a time. Do little things at a time. For me, i mean for days,
i said the serenity prayer over and over and over and really thought about it, put my life
into it.

I seriously learned to take one day at a time. It took me a long time to really make it
my lifestyle, but it made a difference right from the beginning.

Learned to do what i could each day rearranging my life, but also making sure I rested.
By the time most of us get here, we are very sick. So listening to your needs, is very
important. I think al anon teaches us how to live. It is a way we probably wish we had
lived from birth!

When ya surrender, let go of that anxiety and pain in your gut, take the deep breaths and
trust your hp, life is so much easier. All the worrying and anxiety is not doing any good
anyhow.

I learned to do the footwork and relaxed to see what the outcome would be. I trust my hp to
help me with the outcome.

So when I first came here, I did not think about the work at all. I read," Getting Them
Sober," and it changed my life. I came here and spent a lot of time in the room, and at the meetings here online. I never used the message board. Now I love it. i didn't really
know about it before.

It is ok to allow yourself to "get it" as you mature in alanon. There is no pushing no
hurry. No one has a time table. I know we want the help so bad, but slow is good.

When I surrendered i went to my deck and looked at the mountains. I breathed out a huge
breath and let it go. I relaxed and thought about what surrender is, a giving in, an allowing
something greater than myself to take over.

I love it, I live it. I mean about everything, every decision, every hassel, I take a breath
and know what ever happens I can deal with it.

I was almost homeless, when i finally said, well if I am supposed to lose my farm I will.

IF I have to live in the woods in a tent, I do. I was already living in a room in my barn.

Now a few years later, i am living on my farm doing better than I ever have in my life.

I had to go on disability, go thru some loss but whatever. I am still here. I just got
my SSD so I will be ok financially too.

But things still happen, hard stuff, but I give it to my hp, the creator.

I know that overwhelming horrible pain. Rarely feel it anymore. I trust my hp with every
thing.

someone stole my dog. I needed that boy, Fergus. HE was my Basset hound i raised and he
got me thru my moms breast cancer and death, my husbands brain surgery and hoorible
relapse.

Well when I came home and he was gone, I was a horrible mess. I walked up to 7 miles a day

for weeks. put adds in papers, pictures in papers fliers, everything someone could do
I did it. i was told i Had the most well known lost dog in the valley.

I cried and walked and walked door to door. then one day it hit me .surrender, hp
will either allow you to have him back, or he will get you thru this pain, someday you
will be ok about it.

Been over a year now. someone gave me a basset pup when they saw my adds for months.

I have gotten a lot better, Tavish my little guy has been such a great bandaid on
my heart. hp does help us. He must have wanted me to have my house, my income has been
horrible, yet here i am and things are great!

Well I hope i see ya hear a lot. take a breath and keep it simple. keep everything in
your life simple as you can.

Love,debilyn

I have learned that confusion can be a friend.....  It typically means that we are searching and with searching comes gained knowledge and wisdom of the truth, our real emotions and the opportunity to face them.  The healing that comes from experiencing our feelings and facing all of our fears with realization of having to resolve these inner conflicts will offer such a huge sense of accomplishment that we become empowered to turn our lives around.  :)

It ALL starts with fear---   because we begin to face things that were buried deep within us.  Hang in there and give all to God to help you through. 

Take Care!