i put this post on the end of my "forgiveness" post and didn't mean to....i intended to start a new post......this is pretty cool...

hey you all...know what my sponser suggested to me??????

i was telling her that i felt my anger was my frustration at all the old horrible messeges he programmed me with  WHILE he was in my bedroom....all the negative things about ME/ my character etc.

well she told me to make a cassette tape  telling myself in loving tones,   like  "i was innocent i AM innocent...that was HIS inventory...i am GOOD"   and to tell my self  "i love me no matter WHAT...i am OK just the way i am......"   good stuff....

i fired up the cassette and the loving words just poured out of me....there IS a mechanism in me that loves me...and i DO believe it is more powerful than this self abuser that is NOT a part of me,  not the REAL me...so i am making my cassette and  "giving it hell"   wish me luck that i can learn to love me/  and thus get rid of the anger/frustration with myself over the self defeater that keeps comming up....i know these patterns are fighting me and they are fighting me HARD,  making my life miserable so i am going to  "turn up the heat on them"  with the cassette....and that thing is going to play  all the time, while i am bathing/  resting/ eating and  my sponser said it will sink into my sub  mind and i will overwrite those awful tapes....and i will be RID of him and his  BS evil.........it makes good sense to make your "own affirmations"   to tailor make them to suit  MY needs/ issues........wish me luck.....peace/ rosie