Need help with step work - Al-Anon Family Group

jrtjosey · ~*Service Worker*~

Need help with step work

agatha · Veteran Member

Hi Josey,

I'm still just thinking about step five myself. Do you have an "How Al-Anon Works" or "Paths to Recovery" books? They both have some detailed descriptions of all the steps. I keep meaning to pick-up a "Pathes to Recovery" but I never seem to have the money with me when I make a meeting.

I sorry I can't help you myself with step six but if you have any advice for me re: step five it would be appreciated.

Agatha

jj · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Josey,

This was given to me for my step 6. Hope it helps

I attached another thing that was sent to me as an attachment so you can print it.

Love in recovery JJ

Step 6 Paths to Recovery

Have I completed working the first 5 steps to the best of my ability? Am I willing to gbo back and look at them if I feel overwhelmed in working this stesp?

What have I learned from my sponsor or another Alanon friend on how they worked Step 6?

As a result of working Step 5 am I grateful that there is a step 6 to work?

Do I clearly understand the comcept of readiness?

How do I know if I am ready?

If I am not entirely ready how might I turn these fears over to the God of my understanding?

What fears block me from being entirely ready?

Can I ask God for the willingness to be ready?

In what ways do I trust the God of my understanding in working this step?

Am I willing to let go of all my defects of character? Why or why not?

Which ones would I prefer tohold on to?

What advantages do I see to holding onto them?

Which defects of character also contained assets?

What does " have God remove all my defects of character" mean to me?

How do I trust and feel confident that my higher power is there for me?

Do I understand why this step speaks only of my own relationship with God? What does this mean to me?

How am I grateful that I now know God of my understanding?

Can I make a commitment to share in an Alanon meeting on how I worked this step?

How have I encouraged those I sponsor to work this step?

Will I consider chairing a meeting or workshop on the power of this step?

What evidence do I see in my life today of my higher powers willingness to help me improve my behavior?

How can I do my part?

Do I make demands on God, praying for a specific result rather than trusting God to know which defect is

most important to remove?

How can I look at all these characteristics from a fresh point of view today?

Other than "Let go and let god" what other Alanon sogans or tools can help me with this step?

-- Edited by jj at 00:10, 2005-08-19

jrtjosey · ~*Service Worker*~

step 5 is sitting down with someone and going over step 4. Face to face is best. It feels great to get your crap off your chest.

josey

jrtjosey · ~*Service Worker*~

What have I learned from my sponsor or another Alanon friend on how they worked Step 6?

thanks I am using paths

this is what i need to answer.

Have not heard peple talk about it.

josey

isabela40 · Senior Member

Hi Josey,

When I worked on this step with my therapist, we discussed how this meant that once you FACE what your major faults are, are realy honest with yourself in the other steps that you are really going to work on them honestly and in a humble manner.

I think God comes into it as the "golden rule" really is applicable here. If you REALLY treat people like YOU would like to be treated, then you will be unfailingly kind, considerate, and thoughtful.

When I was less mature than I am now, I distorted this to mean I could treat people how they had treated ME as they meant that is how they LIKE to be treated. Now I realize that that is NOT what the "golden rule" means. It is very simple treat people as you would LIKE to be treated...simple and beautiful.

It means that I had to really really work on my lifetimie habit of cynical wisecracks and sarcastic comebacks. I had to think, do I really like it when people do it to me? NO, I don't, although I have come to accept it is part of our culture, but it does not feel good, so I work hard at not doing it.

I do pray to have the christian attitude towards people, humble and willing to turn the other cheek, no matter how hard it is, and it IS hard.

I think it means mostly learning to be humble, and learn that you ahve to stay true to yourself and stay a good person, and not respond in kind to ill treatment.

You have to have done a lot of work on steps four and five to see just where you have gone wrong, just what character traits do you have that led to you hurting others? What part did you playin the wrongs that you had done to people? What do you need to change about yourself to not have it happen again?

It is difficult to be humble and honest enough to REALLY look at YOURSELF and where you are at fault, rather than always blaming others. It is only after you deeply examine yourself that you can do step six.

You can't work on defects of character you are not willing to admit, even to yourself.

Just my two cents and what helped me.

Isabela

sg · Senior Member

Very good points, Isabela.

I always remember the saying when I think of Step 6...."become what you want to attract, give what you want to receive."

mastiff · Senior Member

(((Josey)))) step 6 was hard for me too. Infact when I got to step 6 I got kinda stuck and went back and did some earlier step work because i didn't think i had it. What i finally came up with on step 6 was labeling it an acceptance step. It's not a action step, but more of a getting ready step. When you go to work, you get ready, when you go on a trip you pack your bag ect. This step to me was asking me to get ready, make sure i had all my ducks in order in the following steps in Paths book on pg 68 it says " step 1 helped us realize that we need to change, step 2 and 3 give us trust and faith in a hp so we can begin our recovery. In step 4 we examinded oursleves to determind our beliefs about right and wrong, step 5 we admitted to god to ourselves and another human being how we deviated from our personal principles. Now is the time to prepare to let go of these defects of character." just like in step 2 we believed before in step 3 we could make a decision, now here again, we are getting ready before we ask.

lots of love, hope that helped a little, trina

-- Edited by mastiff at 09:39, 2005-08-19

jrtjosey · ~*Service Worker*~

just what I needed - thanks you!!!

josey

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.