The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My son developed a psychosis. Believe it to be through use of cannabis. He would not accept help, tried everything available, had him committed tomental unit.
He is not stupid, nor a fool, perhaps in top 10% of intelligence quota.
Finally, he accepted drugs. Breakthrough, so I thought, but, tonight he phoned me in panic, nurses tried togive him wrong medication. He refused. Big (male) nurse threatened to hold him down and force injection.
Trouble with mental illness, no-one believes you. I believed him. Tried to get some support from chatroom, answr made me even madder, like, "he has lied to you before", "if you donttrust them, get him home and treat him yourself". Well, thanks for nothing. When you commit someone, you lose all power.
He knew meds were wrong. I rang everyone, from psychiatrist on duty down. threatened law suit. Discovered meds were wrong. Now they have given him right meds. But I have committed my beloved son into the care of amateurs. I thought they would take good care of him. Now I am so angry and confused. Alanon is not working in this situation. Answers just seem like pat cliches, easy to say when it is not your son.
Sorry, just feel letdown. Guess I will try to find answers. Have found some support in chatroom, butalso feel so called "veterans" dont know that much. Pissed off.
ok I think I am safe. I am a senior member. What ever that means. i mean what is the difference between senior and veteran? My gpa was a retired senior and a veteran of ww ll
hmmWell lets just say I have been here longer than most everyone on the message board. Cept haxi for one. In the chat room, I think bd was before me. not many.
so many have gone on to the great living alanon every day, every second.
anyhoo lady, been where you are. I chose to believe my son too, thank god. As the drug test was wrong! idiots. they did not even apologise to him. This is why testing is a farce. mistakes, and believe me people find ways around it who are dirty.
ok your situation. You did great!!! The best way to keep things done right is to make noise. You are not an absent parent. You want to see his drug charts. YOu want to know who gives him the meds. I worked sp. ed for 18 years.
I KNOW how a parent can make sure a kid gets the proper care. The more you show concern, the more present you are the better it will be for your son. Human nature is, if someone else cares then I should too.
Have it on their chart, Parents phone number, Parent involved in sons care.
"PARENT IS WATCHING YOU!!!" Not really but the above is enough.
I am proud of you for stepping up. We all need advocates. So he has made mistakes before, so what? What is it going to hurt to check it out? Better to check it out than to not listen. My son is 29 now and still tells me how he sure appreciated that I, the only one, believed him.
I did too.
sometimes we have to believe that they believe and check it out. I mean it.
Like kids say to a counselor I am afraid of my dad. Dad says oh he is not afraid of me, I just talk loud. BS the kid just said he is afraid, he is afraid.
it may be unfounded but work on the truth the kid feels!
So please please don't be upset at anyone in the chat room. Most people do not understand kids at all. They seem to forget they used to be one.
kids are precious, your son is precious. So you stand strong with hp, and you listen to him, every word. And do your best to do whatever you can to be part of his recovery.
Call the place he is in and find out what your rights as a parent are. They should have given you something in the paperwork.
Then use those rights, make sure you are listened to, and if one person does not listen go over their head. People have to fight all the time to protect their loved ones.
That is how we have found many, many strange new diseases!!From parents who would not give up on knowing what was wrong with their child.
And now you want to be there to monitor his drugs. Good for you! Research what They have him on. Make sure you feel comfortable with it. Make sure there are no drugs that should not be mixed. Do not depend on them to know everything.
Knowledge is a major key when dealing with this type of program. They will respond to you so much better if you are knowledgeable and you are professional yet friendly.
I don't mean be pushy, be interested, be curious. Make it known he is not a throwaway kid, he is your son and you are right there with him.
Hp gave you the gumption you have shown, good for you for taking steps to use it. So keep doing it. But take care of you too!!!!
Keep us up on how he is!!! love,debilyn not a senior or veteran, just a pig/horse/goat dog/cat/ guinea pig/ turkey/chicken/ caretaker....smoinks!!
Thank you, I am so upset. thank you for believing. Iwilltake your advice - anyway, it is in mynature to make waves, but it is the powerlessness that frightens me. TheCharge nurse tonight said that he could impose medication if he felt it necessary. Isaid, but youmust write it up in the notes. He said that I am not entitled to see notes. He does not have the right to impose medication. Here, you commit someone under the Mental Health Act. Section 2 is what they used. Means he can be kept against his will. You need section 3 to impose meds.
The legal ins and outs dont worry me so much - just that this nurse was a bully. Nothing better than that. He did not care what happened to his patient, just get his own way.
Not going to take this lying down. Will be there tomorrow, and they had better be following letter of law. And they had better give my son correct meds. Or else lol
Thanks for being there, I needed to hear what you said
Thanks for the share....so inspiring. Hats off to you steping up to the plate to fight for your son. He needs an advocate right now...so if his voice isn't being heard then they will hear yours! Without a voice you can slip though the cracks and dissapear. The streets of Atlanta are full of homeless people who's only real crime was that they were mentally ill and had no advocate. (everyone assumes they are all drunks and drug addicts and that is not always the case). A lot of them at one time were fully functioning people with lives and careers and then they had mental health issues. Once you loose your job and the heath benefits run out you can literally dissapear in a matter of months. I know I almost did...I could not speak for myself and did not understand what was happening to me. All I needed was for someone to speak on my behalf and tell the doctors what they saw. Without a voice I was doomed so....
I wholeheartedly agree with what debilyn says, that medical personal will be MUCH more careful with a patient who has a nosey parent checking up on them for everything. It is true, it is only human nature to value more highly what OTHERS value.
Even if you committed him and don't have the power to bring him home, you should visit every chance you get! Keep doing what you are doing, questioning EVERYTHING they do and give your son. Talk to your son every chance you can, that is good that he could phone you when he needed help. When you visit bring a notepad and TAKE NOTES on everything, while smiling sweetly in their faces. Tell them that the information they are giving you is "very complicated" since you are not a medical professional and it "goes too fast for you" so you have to write everything down and take notes to be able to go over it later and "digest it" so you can "try to understant". This may disarm them so they let their guard down and may not be so paranoid. BUT it will always be in the back of their minds that you mean business and will watch their every move and have it DOCUMENTED so they better watch their step!
I hope everything works out for son. (((((((((((((Flora))))))))))))))
Thank you all for your support - Isabela, if that is your portrait - wow!!!!!
I was very calm today. Heeded everything you said. Checked the records, nothing reported. So, spoke to charge nurse, said the right words - i.e. I was concerned, felt nurse's attitude unhelpful, almost confrontational - not, in my heart, I wanted to kill him. lol.
Anyway, got interview with psychiatrist, talked at some length, he kept digressing, but, I brought him back to case in hand. Insisted the matter was logged. And asked why - after almost 17 days, I have not seen my son's care plan (my husband had long term illness, I no about care plans).
All in all, feel happier about everything. Medical staff took me seriously, tomorrow, I am to go through care plan with charge nurse (suspicion they have not done necessary, but now they realise they must go by the book). Best thing, my son trusts that I am on his side, gives him comfort to know he has someone outside.
Tomorrow, they are going to try to persuade J to increase dose of meds. This is in his best interests.
I hope it goes to plan - but, I will not have my son bullied by some half qualified no brain, have made it clear. If they want to enforce treatment, they must go through legal channels.
I know that I am doing my best. I know I have support from many friends.
Something beautiful happened this morning - I had a call from an Alanon friend who has left the area.
By chance, she was coming to London, we could not meet - I had appointments, but it was such a comfort to speak with her. She has a son with mental illness. Not the same - anxiety, agrophobia, but she was here to see his specialist, and I could talk to her. She knows the score about sectioning (having someone committed against their will), it was a relief to speak with her.
The funny thing is - although I am fond of her, she used to aggravate me a bit, then, when she left, I really missed her!!!!
She invited me down to her new home (Hastings) which is a beautiful place. And she left if open - come for a day, stay overnight, or for a weekend, it will be good for you. Going to do it, I need a break
I would never have these friends, or the strength that I have found. without Alanon, so, though I got really stressed out last night, I know I am in the right place.
((((((Sooner, Isabella, Debilyn)))))) stronger now! thank you so much
