The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Alcoholism is such an emotional roller coaster for EVERYONE .. Especially, those of us who love the A's ....
Today is Friday and thankfully, my A is working. I know that sounds terrible but the house is so peaceful when he isnt here. I miss him however, not like before. We have been thru so much that I think the love is dying. My A was my first love. We have been married for what seems to be a lifetime. We have 2 teenagers who also share the alcoholic roller coaster ride. The I cant live with you or without you. The I cant live like this anymore, Ohhhhh my Gosh i am alone... I cant be alone. Earlier in the week i decided that if he did not get the help he needs and change his behaviors i couldnt live like this any longer and we would have to seperate. For good this time. I wrote all of the monthly bills and ask that he leave the house. He said NO WAY.. I have 2 children and both just started school this week.. I ask for him to think of the kids and he said NONONONONOOOOO!! So here I sit.. He has been okay this week and hasnt drank since Monday.. He has been very nice since then cooking dinner, working around the house.. I know that he wants everything to just go back to the way it was.. He drinks, I get over it.. My head is soooo over it .. I just wish my heart would catch up. I love him, I think that we all love the A's otherwise, this wouldnt be so hard..
As i read everyones postings i realize that I am not alone on this ride.. There are so many of us on this ride.. I think about those you are going thru what I am today then i think about those who had the courage to get off. I admire those with the courage to change. To Change for themselves and for their children. I will keep praying, praying for the strength to do the same.
Hi I am quite new here, but what I know is this is a disease, and your husband is not in control of himself. When he drinks and says or does things you hate, that person is NOT your husband, it is the Alcoholic.
I know the ride to, and I am tired of riding to. Sometimes I want to get off, but still I sit next to him and keep going.
Alanon gives me the strength to stay on the ride. (I am in no way saying anyone should stay or leave their "A", that is a personal decision.) I know without alanon I would be a stuck on that ride. But I am not. He can be going upside down and topsy-turvy, while I am still right beside him but I am not all caught up in the ride, I have smooth sailing. As long as I continue to work my program the peace and love of this program stays with me, and my serenity keeps me right next to him, my track doesn't jerk me around while his track does. And when I feel myself on the same track as him, I kick my self in the butt and start working my program again.
Keep coming back!
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
