The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday was my son's fifth birthday. Things were fine until my husband got a call from his new parole officer saying he wanted to see my husband in an hour at our house. Well of course my husband starts panicking because he is dirty and yells at me. I just basically took a deep breath and kept doing what I was doing and stayed cheerful. I was hoping that he would be carted off to jail but that was not in God's plans this time. He accused me of calling the officer on him and I told him that after it didn't work last time I had let it go and gave him up to God. I told him that God had a plan and that I would follow it. I really wanted to scream at him that if he was clean this would not be a worry and to stop looking at me like you want to kill me but I didn't. I just kept eating dinner like it was the thing to do.
I also told my daughter the same thing when she came to me WORRYING about unsolveable things, I gently let her know that God has a plan for her and if she knows that He is always there for her, she will be okay. no matter what happens, she will be okay. And that I will always listen to her if she needs me to. She seemed to accept that. It feels good to have some tools to help her when she is struggling and I owe it all to Alanon and all the good people of Alanon.
So glad to hear that you kept it together through this challenge. I found that every time I handled a situation the 'right' way, it was easier the next time. One thing that really kept me from blowing up, once I became aware of my reactions - our kids are watching us, what behaviour do we want to model? If I could remember to think of myself as a teacher and an example, rather than just a 'thing' reacting to every button that was pushed, I could often (not always) handle things better. You can't make him be sane, calm and loving, but you can be those things yourself. Good for you.
