The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
These are the words to a song, it is so codependent! Now that my mind is getting a hair better (microscopic steps forward) I am noticing codependent lyrics more & more. Music is really healing - I used to play music all the time. I am so far from the way I used to be, I don't resemble myself at all right now.
I am having to think really hard aout what I even enjoy doing anymore. My life has been like I am struggling in quick sand -- I haven't done anything for myself in years. The A called me unmotivated -- geez! I don't even talk to ppl now, let alone try to make friends, I haven't been on a date in years, forget even thinking about having sex! I feel like I am standing in the ashes of who I once was.
The A emailed to me (I wrote to him, to get some things off my chest & he responded) -- that over the years he thought I was "uninspired & unappreciative". (way to take my inventory)- I told my mom about it - I sd, "he should have appreciated me!" then he would have seen that I really was appreciative. Hell, I put the man on a pedestal, was I supposed to worship his feet?
Oh well, I guess microscopic steps forward are better than none at all.
SCARS:
chorus: I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut My weakness is that I care too much My scars remind me that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel
Drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone I'm pissed cause you came around Why don't you just go home Cause you channel all your pain And I can't help to fix myself Your making me insane All I can say is
chorus
I tried to help you once A kiss will only vise I saw you going down But you never realized That your drowning in the water So I offered you my hand Compassions in my nature Tonight is our last dance
chorus
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone You shouldn't ever came around Why don't you just go home? Cause your drowning in the water And I tried to grab your hand And I left my heart open But you didn't understand But you didn't understand You fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
chorus x2
geovisit();
Nice Song, huh! well, I am not sorry that I am moving on with my own life!!! I am grateful - I am still a lil mad at myself too for being sucked into the goo for so long, but I can clean myself off & forgive myself for it, and for wasting my own time! There is no one to blame but me -- oh yeah, I don't have to blame at all.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
What great insight into yourself. You are sure doing the work on getting yourself better and on healing yourself. I want to blame myself for my daughter's alcoholism and have to keep stopping myself. I did the best I could at the time with what I had. I really did. Blame does nothing but keep us stuck. Give yourself credit for those microscopic steps. Moving forward is a great thing and a true gift to ourselves. Maybe in time you will start connecting with other songs that offer hope. I look forward to you posts. your friend in recovery, cdb
