The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It occured to me one day when I made a short list of feelings I had been having that they spelled out a word, as I had writen them in a list.
Shame
Confusion
Anger
Resentment
Frustration
It made me think...alot. I realized that for the last 18 years I had been knitting a scarf made of these horrible threads. I had worked on it off and on for a really long time and had started to wrap it around my own neck. It was made of irritating stuff and had gotten very heavy, to the point of sufficating me. But I still added to it, on a regular basis. Years went by and I continued to knit this scarf. The day arrived not so long ago that the weight of it crushed me. I reached out from under this pile in a last ditch effort and found Al-Anon. Thanks to the program and all the wonderful people in its rooms I have stopped knitting this vile thing and have started to unravel it. Daily I pull at those threads and they have started to fall away. I can now stand up again and see past it. I look forward to the day that it is gone. I know that on some days I will forget to pull and might even pick up those knitting needles and go to work on it again. If I work my program every day and let my HP do his work, it will slowly become lighter and softer, to become something I can carry without it getting in the way of my happiness.
Thanks for sharing your fascinating insight with me. I was thinking that maybe now the F could stand for friends instead of frustration. I would sure be willing to help you unravel that heavy scarf with you so you alone won't have to do all the work. Once it gets into a thread ball again your friends can help make it into a sweater to keep you warm and safe. Keep up the good insight into your life. You have shown such growth and strength! your friend in recovery, cdb :)
I love that! I had to laugh though because one of things I've taken up to relieve stress is knitting! And of course what I do best is scarves. Maybe I'll try the recommended sweater!
Wow!!! What an interesting analogy!! I can certainly see that heavy awful scarf that we all have had and some still have. Thanks for putting it into an easily seen visual for me. Good luck in continuing to unravel it and making it into something more useful :)
