The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My computer at home is on the fritz, kids went to a site that has loaded the home computer with ad-ware. YUCK....
After my A called Friday, I truly believed that he would come home early and try to make amends. When I didn't hear from him by 11pm I went to bed. I awoke at 3 am and found him passed out in the living room. I think I woke him up to sleep in the bed because I no longer want that stale smell of alcohol through the whole house. He woke up, ate pizza and immediately passed out. He has sleep apnea and I tried to go back to sleep with him not wearing his mask but just couldn't take it. I tried about 5 times to rouse him enough to put his mask on. He woke up with a nasty attitude, put his mask on and went to sleep. When I woke up around 9am I noticed he had taken it off while he was sleeping but at least I got some sleep. Saturday I went to the casino with my mom, her treat! Then came home and ironed my work clothes etc. We didn't talk about last week and that's fine with me. I kind of feel like I have become a little bit stronger from last week. I don't know what will happen with our marriage and that seems okay with me.
Sunday we went to one of his co-worker's to pick up his check, (he actually invited me to go for a ride with him). I found out while we were there that my A’s buddy, the one he has been spending so much time with and car-pooling with, got laid off last week. I admit that gave me some relief. Not that he won't go hang out with him but that his day won't start and end with him. He cleaned out the hot tub and refilled it, drank his beer while he was doing it. That seemed to really bother me a week ago now it doesn't seem to bother me as much. He was even playful and teasing, a side I haven't seen in months. I keep asking myself if that's because I have really let go and am letting God do what he needs to do? I spoke to my mother in-law also over the weekend. My friends have called to check up on me. I have had to distance myself from my neighbor somewhat. She means well but continually tells me that I "have to kick my A out" I know she means well but the words are sometimes is hurtful. She grew up with alcoholics and knows the pain that comes with living with an A.
So I guess this week will be a new challenge and I will work on one day at a time, that means no "future trippin" LOL. My HP has my best interest at heart.
You sound like you are doing so well working your program :) I too had sleep apnea. Did you know there is a tube you can get that is similiar to one people use with oxygen machines that hooks to the nose? I felt less claustraphobic with is and I did not take it off while I was asleep. There is a chin strap that goes with it for people like me that keep their mouth open while they sleep so the mouth stays shut. Our insurance paid for 2 masks in one year but normally no one tells you about these other mask options. I hated that mask! grrr Just an idea.
I have to distance myself somewhat from my best friend too. She is a big enabler to several chemically addicted kids and rescues them. We just don't talk about coping tools but listen to each other without comment. I miss her and she misses me too! But new boundaries are needed with even our best friends at times. Boundaries keep us safe.
This is just a funny thought that came in my mind and surely nothing to try at home LOL What would hubby think if when he woke you had one of those hospital type masks on or ones they use in a dusty shop that only go over the mouth and nose that keeps you from smelling the alcohol? LOL Just a funny image to put in your mind. Or when he is passed out some nice rose or lavender room spray in the room. :) Me and my sick sense of humor LOL your friend in recovery, cdb :)
