The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I appreciate your posts. I learn so much. Well, my husband has been gone for 2 months. At times we can barely be civil on the phone. I can't figure out why he is so angry at me when he's the one that moved out!
We are going to see our son in the military this weekend. He will be going overseas in November. Our other son who has been working away from home will meet us there. The youngest will drive up with us. I made an appointment for a family picture, uniform and all. It just means so much to me. It has always been a struggle with my recovering A to do things as a family much less take a family picture. It is like he just doesn't want to acknowledge that he is married and has responsibilities. Since he has moved out he is missing our youngest one's last summer at home before he goes to college. He seems to think that his work is done.
Being alone though I have had time to get to know myself better. I don't like all that I see. I seem to wander around alot and be none productive. I think about my husband alot and I cry every day. I feel like I should do something like give him an ultimatum but I don't know what to do. I was thinking about what I value and I do value my 3 sons very much, I do value myself and I think it is coming to him or me survival type thing. I have been going to my Alanon meetings and reading my books.
Come mid-August, I will be alone in my house. Hopefully, my sons will be in a safe place. I am scared and sad because I didn't choose this for myself. I look to you all for support. I am looking for a better relationship with my HP and myself. All I can say is bring on the challenge because this will be all new to me.
It sounds like things are going in the right direction for you :) I do know that in mine and other people's experience that kids do tend to move back home at times. None of us knows the future afterall. My mom wanted a family picture so much. On my parent's 50th anniversary my dad gave us the gift of offering to fly all of us to their place to celebrate with them and give my mom her wish of a family picture. My one brother and his wife decided to rebell for who knows what reason. He was almost 50 years old and he pulled that stuff. It broke my mom's heart and she never got a family picture. Shortly after, he broke off all communication with us. My dad even offered to fly them to their place for one day! I do hope you get your family picture. If you don't, know that you are not alone. Enjoy your new life and let yourself cry. Keep going to alanon and coming here for support. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
I am so sorry that this is happening. It can be very frightening and contain so many emotional issues that it is oftentimes difficult to sort everything out. Please be kind to yourself. You do not have to be productive at this moment and you do not have to make decisions right now.
You might want to see if there is a bulletin board devoted to divorced issues or if there is an in-person group in your area. Being around people in similar situations can help and gives you someone to talk to who understands what you are going through.
