The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My brother an expat lawyer says this is from the days of pleading your case before the king.
It is strange to see my dirty laundry all fancied up by the lawyer.
It is strange to think that I lived with the harmful things mentioned in the complaint and they are all true.
A good friend at the alanon campout told me "You don't know what you don't know", and that is so true.
Look at this lawyer prose:
In the past several years, the defendant’s actions have made it clear that he has abandoned the parties’ relationship in order to pursue his own selfish activities.
(d) Throughout the marriage the defendant has insisted upon drinking alcoholic beverages to excess
And how about this stuff:
The defendant’s course of conduct over the last several years has
constituted emotional abandonment and has given the plaintiff a feeling of extreme loneliness for an extended period of time
Is this really my life? Well yes it is. This is the present. I am getting a divorce. I have slowly and painfully come to acceptance of this fact.
I was mountain biking Sunday and thinking to go check up on my A when my HP told me to stay of of his way and stop messing with his work, so I am.
God's will, not my will be done
Megan
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
My prayers are with you through this difficult time. Divorce is never an easy thing to do. However, the courage necessary to get there is something to be proud of. Trust in yourself and your hp to get you through.
Karen
__________________
Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
Just wanted you to know how much I admire your courage. I believe you have loads of it and feel stonger when I hear of your new chance at a better life. You have been through the worst and are still going!! I can hear how hard it is to realize the stuff you lived through but you keep going forward for yourself. That is great. Thanks for sharing your courage.
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this painful time...I wish we could go mountain biking together...keep busy to deal with the pain you are feeling.
I understand your thinking about visiting "A". After over a decade of faithful and loyal freindship and trust between the two of you, I know a divorce filing feels like betrayal, SO hard, that is how I felt anyway, even though my "A" has done just about the same to me and worse I think to my daughter.
Remember, that he already "divorced" you emotionally and has already made choices to have other priorities in life other than you. What you are doing is only "finalizing" what has already happened so that your interests are protected in legal ways.
Don't even feel guilty or disloyal, you have done everythign you could.
It does feel like betrayal but Isabela you are right, he divorced me emotionally when he started the 24/7 drinking, and in so many ways before that.
Julie and Alamom, I am glad that my courage is helpful.
Sometimes I just do so much prayer for guidance to the next right thing
MY A has found out about the divorce it seems (I think from the email that I sent to my family - he was supposed to be OFF THE LIST)
He called me at lunch time, it has been over w eeek since I talked to him. He asked how I was and I said hot - I was walking back to the office with some friends after work.
He asked me if I was getting a divorce.
I said yes.
I explained that when I left I told him that for any chance of reconciliation that he would need to be sober and in a program for 6 months. And that he was still drinking as much as ever.
He said how did I know how much he was drinking? I said well some weeks ago when you wanted half the tax check money signed to you and you planned the trip to Atlantic City you drank a big bottle of vodka in 2 days besides expensive drinks at bars.
I stopped over for my mail and you had a huge box of wine in the downstairs bathroom
I said you are crazy. I picked you up walking on the highway and you reeked of stale booze.
He said what is wrong with going for a walk.
And boom we were right back at it
I had walked away from my friends by then.
Then I walked back to them and told my A I was with people and hung up
So I just talked to the lawyer and he will speed up the process
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
