The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was widowed at a very young age 5 years ago and am now recently remarried. I'm not sure if my current husband is abusing alcohol or is alcoholic. Whatever he is doing, it is hurting our marriage. He has "given up" drinking for "me". But he holds that over my head and threatens to start again. He drinks bottles of gin at a time. At times he will pass out.
I really need some support as we have been fighting about his lies. He lies about everything. I cannot trust him. I cannot love someone I don't trust.
I am trying to find an Al-anon meeting in my area. I feeling very stressed-out, worried, and fearful of my future.
It was nice meeting you during the meeting. So sorry you couldn't stay after to chat. Please do find a meeting and go for support. It will help you so much! Come back here anytime for support too or post again. My heart goes out to you and just know that alanon is here for you. cdb :)
Hi ditto and welcome. What you are experiencing with your new hubby is soooo typical of alcoholic behavior. The lies, the denial, the threats. It all fits the pattern that drives you crazy. It is important to find a local support group so that you can begin to focus on yourself, and so that you can understand this disease in all it manifestations. You will also learn how to set boundaries and stick to them. My heart goes out to you, as I found myself in the same situation as you. A young widow who waited for the next Mr. Right, thought she had found him, and he's an alcoholic. My prayers are with you and my positive thoughts too.
With great caring Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Often when we speak, we state the answers to our own questions without even realizing it. As far as I unerstand alocholism, lying (denial) is the keystone of the disease. My step father has been dry at different times - (being "dry" isn't being in sobriety) besides he just got madder & angrier everyday. It shocks me to realize all the times he was critisizing me, he was out being a womanizer.
It is challenging for me (knowing God) sometimes to stand up & be defenslessly honest, when someone tells you, that you are wrong - the truth hurts. I just blush (naturally) and take responsibility.
I know it's a progressive disease & the only person you can change is yourself. Take care & listen to your intuition. Only you, will know what is right for you.
-kitty
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Welcome to Al Anon & this wonderful site. Your are definately in the right place. We are all here for the same reason, a place to vent, listen & learn. NO ONE judges here. We are here to deal with our feelings & emotions. Post often, check for replies & do meetings here on line. Get lots of info either from meetings & on line & READ it. It helps me trenendously.
Thank you, everyone. I am feeling better, but not really great. I am sure I will turn to you all for support many times. I also hope that eventually I will know enough to be able to offer support in return.
