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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> What to do about a mother who won't take care of her own child?
Post Info TOPIC: What to do about a mother who won't take care of her own child?
smartkat


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What to do about a mother who won't take care of her own child?
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My mother and I have provided a lot of babysitting for my SIL while she was at work but now she is off for the summer, so we didn't think she needed us to do that much babysitting this supper.

But my SIL takes off to do what ever, saying she will get back in time to take care of her daughter before her husband has to go to work. But often she doesn't and one of us has to babysit or he will be late for or miss work.

This has only been occasionally but lately she has decided to "wage war" against us because we are curtailing her free babysitting while she has the summer off.

Today, my SIL tried to avoid taking care of her child, by not being home when my mom brought my niece back from an outing,  but my mom tracked my SIL down and delivered the child to her (look at other discussion to see what happened then!)

So we want ideas on what to do if she does that again?

My brother is trying to get a promotion so he can't be late or miss work but we can't let her make us provide free babysitting at times when we said we wouldn't. It won't hurt my SIL at all if my brother misses work so "holding our ground" there won't be holding her accountable!  It will only hurt him and his career?

What are some ideas! How can we handle this?

-- Edited by smartkat on Sunday 6th of June 2010 01:33:50 AM

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Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace within the storm.
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Dear Smartkat

Good to see you back again.  If I remember correctly this probelm has been ongoing and involves an older child with disabilities. 

The alanon tool I would use is to examine my motives and read the June 6 th Courage to Change to determine the next right action for all concerned.

I have always found forcing my will backfires constantly 

-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 6th of June 2010 08:54:26 AM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Mobirdie


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I would be looking behind the scenes for the answer to this one. When things don't make sense we usually don't have all of the facts.

Is it possible that she is so uncomfortable (for whatever reason) taking care of the child that it is easier for her to get someone else to do it? Who normally takes care of the child once he/she is home with mom and dad?

Sometimes it isn't that they don't want to they simply don't know how or don't have the patience to do it. By her putting the child in your care she knows that it is being given proper care that she can't provide.

__________________

Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> What to do about a mother who won't take care of her own child?