cdb, mary,

This seems to be a common thread amongst many of us, depression that is the end result of living with an abusive (even if just emotionally) "A" for so many years often leads to weight gain.

I notice that my "A"'s self esteem is incredible.  He has never stopped going to the gym daily, through sickness, and now he has a slipped disk and he STILL goes.  The alcohol anesthatizes most of his pain so he can lift and run through it (against doctors orders).

Meanwhile, since I have to pick up the slack for him in EVERYTHING at home (I am not talking about enabling here, merely life as a single parent since he does not lift a finger for daughter). I do ALL of the housework, he has NEVER lifted a broom or even knows what a dustpan is, or a swiffer, or window cleaner or a paper towel, and he NEVER cooks, shops or does anything.   He says his "contribution" to the household is to keep a roof over our heads and to pay our co-pays on the medical bills.  I have to work for groceries and clothes, shampoo, etc. for daughter and I.

Well, this means that I have little timie for exercise.

Why don't we support each other in taking care of OURSELVES!?  This is also a part of recovery in my opinion.  I am talking about health issues here.  Being overweight is very dangerous as we get older, and often  leads to early disability.  I know just TOO many overweight women who have to rely on walkers and scooters at younger and younger ages...sad.

Why don't we all commit to doing one thing every day to take care of ourselves physically?  Develop one  new habit a month?  Such as for August, committing to having only lowfat healthy protein, fruit,  and/or veggies for breakfast (processed food like cereal, bagels, etc. just are NOT good for you).  Then each month pick a new habit?  Like September add lunch to our healthy habits?  Then in October no snacking between meals?  Just ideas.

I am doing this no matter what and have already lost 7 pounds.  I would LOVE some company and support...

Isabela

PS  Please take care of yourself cdb, each bout I have with pneumonia is worse and leaves more scar tissue in my lungs.  Please take care of yourself so you don't get it again!  Sugar inhibits our immune system so now that you are sick try to eat only healthy food like chicken soup with veggies or water.  Watch dairy as it induces mucus in the lungs.

It sure helps to know that once again I am not alone with my feelings and my personal matters. My weight to me is a product of my unhappiness all these years along with other things too. I feel a little more up today and am trying really hard to not let anything or anyone get me down. I did sleep until after lunch again and know that I still am not well physically with the bronchitis. I have a doctor appt. soon too with my pain specialist. I am going to pace myself. Pacing myself sounds funny to me since pacing my self is slower than a turtle with all my health issues LOL. I did ask my husband if he wanted to go to Applebees for appetizers after my doc. appt and of course his answer was no. Why don't you get groceries instead. :( I will only get groceries if I am up to it for goodness sakes. I realized that I didn't really have the energy to go out anyway after I asked but didn't let his no answer get me down. I so agree the things you all replied too. Changes are good and yes we all need to take care of us and start new healthy behaviours. Thanks for your replies and for your support of my feelings. It sure helps to get my deepest feelings out and not keep them in. your friend in recovery, cdb :)