The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One of my very best friends just found out she is getting a day job she bid on. Her and I both work third shift. We've worked together on the same machine for almost 4 years. At our company, day jobs are quite rare. Third shift works out in that it enables us to see our children. On second shift, we would be going to work when our children came home from school. However, third shift does not work for us because we get so tired of being so tired.
First and foremost, I am happy for her, as this is the best thing for her, especially with what is going on in her life. The other piece is our friendship is so rare and special and I cannot help but feel tremendous sadness at the thought of not working with her every night. Even a supervisor told me "Looks like you are losing her, she got a day job."
My friend told me if the shoe was on the other foot, she would be devastated. The only reason she gets into work is because she knows I will be there and we get each other thru the night. People have called us sisters. The workplace is predominantly male.
I guess I am afraid how things change and how our friendship may not be so tight when we don't see each other every nite.
The other thing, is I have been trying to get on days myself. I have considered leaving the company if necessary, as I don't plan on working 3rd shift and weekends the rest of my life. Am being treated for depression and pmdd. Both my doctors advised me to contact a union rep and recommend day shift, saying day shift would greatly improve my moods.
Am making progress, but slow progress in gathering info on medical hardship. Seems like a big mystery, with people passing the buck, people telling me to do different things. But I am taking the steps I can and leaving the results in God's hands.
Another thing to note is if I had bid on the job my friend bid on, I would have been awarded that job because of my seniority. And the reason I didn't bid on it is because the job involved handling money. I am not comfortable handling money, have not done it for years, I stink at basic math, and can picture myself getting nervous with a long line of people. Well, there it is, one of my stupid hangups.
My life still feels unmanageable, even thu my husband has been sober almost 4 years. I still carry myself around with some scars of growing up acoa. I feel like a mess because working this shift is not right for me. As the week goes on, the more tired I get. I have missed my children's appts., either I have slept thru them or had them written on the calendar but failed to look at the calendar.
This job is great pay and benefits. I remind myself to be grateful.
I wish I had more faith in myself. In starting a new job, I am terrified. I actually went to school nights to start a new career. Then found I couldn't do it in addition to my regular job as it was too much. Too much to work 7 days a week plus work third shift. Now I do not know if I will ever regain the enthusiasm I had for the new career, knowing it takes a lot of practice to get good at it.
Well, I am going to start with a daily list so at least I feel I can accomplish some things. I want to apply alanon every day. Sometimes I just get stuck.
Hi I have been in the same position as you with a good friend I worked with. She left and I was very happy for her but fearful I would loose her. We still keep in touch and she is still one of my best friends, although our relationship did change slightly.
I too do a job which I dont like and doesnot fit in with my children. I miss their various appointments , cant collect them from school, they cant have friends over because I get home to late etc etc..... I have just handed my notice in to be home more with my kids. Probably the most irresponsible thing I have ever done as I am a single parent,and I am scared silly. But I know it is the best for us all. I wont be so tired all the time, and will have proper time to spend with them. I am trusting in my HP to provide the right opportunity for me. Foolish maybe, but I shall have to wait and see.
Boy do I ever relate. I worked for the school district for 18 years, even went back to school full time as I worked full time.
In Oregon the public school system administration is very, very uncaring of its employees They move them as pawn pieces. One gal had been at a small country school 30 years and they moved her to this school in town with a bad rep.
Anyhow I got moved like 6 times in 6 years. Drove me out of my mind. I worked special ed and we were very much team players. We always doubled up, working with violent kids, kids in wheel chairs, kids at risk etc.
I went back to college to be a msw. A counselor for kids at risk, and for people, with unusual problems that found it hard to talk to someone.
I know how you feel, I was ripped out of places that felt like home. People who were sisters to me.
Finally got to where I asked myself, What do I want in my life? If I died tomorrow, am I enjoying each day?
It was more important to love life, than have money.
Becuz of a lot of reasons I went on disability. Depression from too many deaths in my family, the constant upheaval from work, I had had enough.
So now I am on disability, and happy.
Anyway is it worth your life? Is it worth forgetting your kids app. feeling exausted?
What are you missing? What are you gaining? If you died tomorrow, would you regret that you did not have a career you loved, or that you were not home with your kids or maybe that you did not have a job where ya were not making as much $ but you were happy?
Hey I am old hon, my kids are grown. I would go back and raise them again cuz it went so fast, too fast. I was home with them and working for the school district, I was home when they were.
Anyway this is my experience. I hope you find peace. love,debilyn
I know their childhood goes by too fast. I was able to stay at home and worked only p/t unil my son got into kindergarten. Then worked 2nd shift for 5 years and that was awesome until my son got into first grade, then went on third shift.
For myself, I never work a holiday because I'd rather be at home w/my family. Bills are paid and I we don't have credit card debt. However, I carry the health insurance. It is under $80.00 a month. For my husband, it would cost him over $100.00 a week. And we have many prescriptions to pay for.....
Yes, it seems most companies pretrend to care but the bottom line is if we can produce what they want and the almighty dollar.
