The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I discovered something this last weekend about myself and my A. I picked him up from work and went to a wedding with him and the kids of an old friend. It was beautiful. Then went home to changed, suggested that we go to the movies as a family, the A decides he can't live without foot spray, and leaves for the store, goes for about 25minutes, then comes back. We wait another 30 minutes to leave, and get there, and he is starting to show signs of having drank some. The movie is 2.5hours long, and I have three kids there. He keeps talking, I tell him several times to be quiet, then he starts on wanting to take the boys to the bathroom, finally my youngest(8) goes to shut him up. then he wants my keys to sit in the car because he doesn't feel good. I tell him No, and then take him out there myself, and unlock the car for him, and the whole time, he is doing the bobbing and weaving and looking like he is going to pass out any minute. I leave him in the car and go back to the kids. Later the movie is over, and I get to the car first, and wake him and make him sit up and look normal before the kids get there. We get home, and the I tell the kids to go in the house, and I tell him very bluntly, and to the point that he is not staying in the house, to go straight to the trailer out back, he says ok. Guess what he doesn't, so I tell I will call the cops if he does not leave, he did not take me seriously, so I called them. He was furious, and right before the cops get there, he brushes his teeth, and I just look at him. the cops come, and I tell them in tears that all I want is for him to leave the house and that is all. They make him. the next morning he says to me the "cops said he wasn't drunk, and I was just blowing it out properation. I almost left him on the corner.
Tonight he went to his class, and told them he was not drunk and I blew it up and call the cops on him. I just realized he will never get well, and I will be ending this marriage really soon. I don't think he even realizes what he has done finally. Kinda sad after all these years togather.
that is coming to a realization of living with a A. The calling the cops was the hardest thing I have ever done especially to someone who I love so much.
HI, I am sad for you and kids and A. Things sound pretty hurtful and I bet your gut is full of anxiety.
It took so much faith to call the police and know you did the right thing. I hear you being very protective of your kids, good for you!
You sound strong to me. I mean I know you are hurt, confused and more, but it sounds like you ignored his lies, and did not even give them any energy.
Please keep us posted on your progress. I hope you go to meetings and have support. Believe me, as you go on without the disease making you sick, the world will be such a better place.
If you keep doing the same thing, you get the same results. My sponsor always tells me that.
I divorced my husband because I decided I could no longer live with the disease, well, live with his active drinking. I still divorced him when he was 8 months sober. He had quit in the past before, but he only quit to save the marriage. He didn't quit for himself, for the right reasons.
The miracle in my life is we got remarried. He is sober going on 4 years. I never thought our relationship could be restored. Evidently, God thought differently.
