The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I use to be so good at reading posts and replying. Since my situation with my parents' poor health and their moving to ND to be closer to me, I have been a mess with a routine! I haven't forgotten about you. I feel so bad I am not reading or replying. I even have 140 emails I haven't read! I am working my program still and trying hard to put what I have learned into practice. I just spend alot of time in the chatroom doing that. Mom's alzheimers has shocked me and deep inside me I have feelings of rage over it at times. I am still in the acceptance stage and so my routine is all messed up at home and here. I Hope to here soon if possible. My new goal this week is trying to balance out my life better. It has become way off balance! Thanks for reading this and I hope to get to know you new message board people too. cdb :)
You have nothing to be sorry about. Your number one priority has to be to take care of you. With so much on your plate, you shouldn't be worrying about wether you are keeping up with the message board. We all have times in our lives when while we are working our programs, the rest of our time is tough to spare.
I hope you are doing well and that you are making time to be good to yourself. Remember that even with everything that is going on with your parents and your daughter, you are important.
Hey I know I have said this already, but it is ok. Looking after yourself is the most important thing and if your able to do that then that is the best. Please don't appoligise.
If any of us on here want or need to talk to you we know where to find ya. hehehe.
Hi cdb - I understand your anger. I remember when my Mom started to slip and could no longer do the things for me that she had always done. I was angrier at that than what she couldn't do for herself. Real selfish!!
The 3 a's helped me with that as they did with alcoholism. It took me awhile to realize what was making me angry - the fear that comes with the realization that I are losing her.
I needed to accept that our roles were being reversed and it was now time for me to take care of her as she had done for me for so many years.
Be gentle with yourself - the acceptance will come for you - it just takes a little time.
Love in Recovery - Dot ((((((((((((cdb))))))))))))
Thanks for much JJ and dot for your replies. They are so comforting for me right now. And yes dot, I do see the roles reversed and I do well when I am with mom (except for my poor health). It is the times when I am not with her back home where the feelings come and the exhaustion too. I do capture all the moments I can with my parents and appreciate the time with them. The great part is, they are doing that with me too and it is a very loving and nurturing feeling for all three of us :) cdb
i met you in the chat room cup.days ago, and you were very kind and gentle with me...it was a truly bad day for me and you helped a lot.... i am very sorry to hear you are distressed. please take care of yourself, you are in my prayers.
(((((((((((((((((((cdb))))))))))))))) My sweet and true alanon friend please know hun the e-mail is not going anywhere, and neither is the cooking, cleaning, and all else. You need to take time for you, the main person inyour life, and do the things that make you happy if you want to be with mom then as I said go to her everything else is not gonna disappear. You are a wonderful women with a big heart ans I adore you, I wish the wonderful advice you give was bottled cause I would wrap a bottle and send it to you!!!!! ((((((((((((((cdb))))))))))))) keep the faith I love ya and mainly relax and breath and no worries about things that really dont matter, let them go and let god love cloud
The reason they tell you on airplanes that when the masks drop to put yours on first and then help your neighbors if need be is for a reason...you can't help anybody if you yourself aren't healthy. Don't ever feel you "have to" reply, post, etc. You do what you can when you can but first and foremost take care of you! As much as I enjoy reading your posts and drawing strength from your experiences, I'd hate to see you burn out from being pulled in too many directions.
I am so sorry to hear about your mother's illness. It is normal to feel rage, anger, and other emotions as you learn to accept your mother's illness. I really understand how you could be feeling now, since I went through my mother's disease also. The fact that you are not repressing your rage is good, because you are not numbing yourself to your real feelings. It is very important not to forget yourself, and ask your HP to guide you and help you to find the peace of mind. I find that when situations are difficult for me, I say the serenity prayer, and I can find peace. I will keep you, and your mother in my prayers.
