The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know a lot is becuz of my situation right now. Waiting for the ultra sound the 14th is pretty rough. Limbo is hard on us all.
I woke at five am and drove to see A. He was very nice and appropriate. I mean he was empathetic and loving.
Says he is clean and sober. Again I say that is not my concern. But glad you are hving some good time. He seems to have forgotten a few days before I was there and as soon as I came in he was asking for pills..
Anyway he fixed the leak in my gas thingy...
Said he would call. Did not call last night, did not call this morn. I don't understand. I mean ok he is A, but how can he protray he cares, yet out of site, out of mind? Out of heart too?
How can he hold and kiss me and he is sober, and not call?
I am doing my best not to think about it.
I was there every second for him from the first of his brain tumor.
See why I am a hermit? love,debilyn going to take a nap
Oh Debilyn, I wish he were as available to you as you were to him and as available as you need. It's not fair, and it's not right, because from what you say, I believe he DOES love you. But please don't waste your serenity wondering why he doesn't do something. I can't base my happiness and serenity waiting for logical behavior from someone who hasn't behaved logically, especially from an A. It's so hard to be scared and waiting. I wish you THE BEST!
((((((((((((((((((Debilyn)))))))))))))))) awww friend, it is the disease. As long as he isn't working his program the disease is still present. Try to seperate the person from the disease. You are very fortunate you are getting some of the person now,,,that is a true blessing. Be grateful for the small glimpses of him and his love for you. HP may have a big hand in that for you. It may continue to be glimpses unfortunately since he is probably not working his program. Be angry at the disease and not the person. Do not get caught up in expecatations of him calling. I know you know these things debilyn, but in your state right now with the fears you are dealing with, it sure is hard to stay focused. I do understand. WE are here for you. Keep posting and coming here for support! xoxoxox cdb
Hi Deb. Ive been kinda following you around on the board lately, wondering how youre getting along on a daily basis.:) since our last encounter a couple of weeks ago.
Im a recovering A and have been for some time--but I remember those practicing and playing the alcoholic mind games, days.
I could drive others right around the bend--just by pushing or not pushing a few buttons, and knew every button to push.
Jeckle and Hyde. There seemed to be two people in there. One was the honest loving person I was capable of being and tried to be. The other was a Big Behind to put it mildly.
I could make promises and committments about anything, and be very sincere when doin so.
On the other side of the coin was the alcoholic personality, that took all the good stuff away.
And yup. Its called control. mind games, maniplulation, and all the negative crap that goes with it.
Im not making excuses for the way I was. Whether Im a practicing Alcoholic, or not--Im still responsible for my actions.
That cunning, baffling and powerful stuff is all a part of the addiction. Some get better--thank God--some dont-Im a spititual person--I pray-You and your family are a part of those prayers and everyone else on this board is--having to deal with it all on a daily basis.
Thank God for Alanon----God works through people. And thank God, again--we are not alone, and its a We Thing. Have a good night--the best to all of you here.
It's easy for us to see that the disease is talking to you. Of course he's not our A. Like CDB said, "you know this", but your heart is breaking when you need support the most. Unfortunatly he can really only focus on himself. My A is so self centered that sometimes I just shake my head at him in amazement.
You know you're in our prayers. I just wish the 14th was tomorrow for your sake. My son graduates from high school on the 14th so for my sake I rather the 14th not come. I can't believe he's graduating. It seems like just a few short years ago I took him to kindergarten and cried the whole way home. 2005 seemed soooo far away then!
Said he would call. Did not call last night, did not call this morn. I don't understand. I mean ok he is A, but how can he protray he cares, yet out of site, out of mind? Out of heart too
Hi debilyn (((debilyn)) I remember vividly a conversation that I had with my sister-in-law pre-alanon for me.
She wanted to know why her brother (my A) would make grand plans with her and never follow through.
I speculated that maybe he was a manic-depressive and that he behaved the same way with me, maybe she should not take it personally
Now I realize that it is just part of the alcoholic package
Take care, enjoy your animals
megan
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
It stinks that this disease will not let him give you the suppost you so deserve.
I can only imagine how hard the waiting is. Try and keep good thoughts and keep yourself busy. I know when waiting for test thinking about it and working yourslef up, just drives you crazy and makes the time go slower.
I pray that it is a false scare and that everything is okay.
