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Is there a name for that attitude that my alcoholic gets before he starts drinking sometimes? Have any of you experienced it? Maybe it's something that I make up, but sometimes I can tell before he gets a drink that drinking is on his mind. He wants to pick arguments, pushes buttons, and then blames me for the argument and rushes out to get beer or rum. There's a look on his face, the way he stands - - - he's in a bad mood and I can't tell the reason - just a "funk" (that's what I call it). Usually, it's after having been sober for a day sometimes two (not usually two, though).
I was just sitting here thinking about it and wondering if it's something I make up or if others have experienced it.
Another thing on my mind - How do you know if someone is so far gone into alcoholism that they would need to be inpatient to detox so they don't get DT's or stuff like that? I have a friend who was an intensive care nurse for years and she told me that sometimes they would have to give patients alcohol drips (IV alcohol) to prevent them from actually dying while were going through alcohol withdrawal after a serious accident or other health trauma. I just wonder how far along someone has to be before something like that would be necessary.
Hey, I think you may be on to something...that antsy dance, maybe looking for an excuse to validate another drink????
Lately, I think my A's one year of no booze may be about over...he's been so irritable that it makes me almost long for that happy drunk he becomes before he becomes the mean drunk. And....I almost wish he'd just do it, so I could just leave as I promised I would if he doesn't stay sober.
So,...yes, I think that funk is a prelude to the drinking....and at least it gives you a chance to mentally prepare yourself.
I have seen the same thing in my A too. Looking for any excuse to go somewhere just so he can stop and get his beer. That look being testy and irriatable. I think it is them actually suffering from withdrawls. For some reason or whatever I seem to just know when mine leaves the house how he will be when he comes back. Of course I try to convince myself otherwise but that never works. Anyway Mariposa its not something you have made up in your head it actually happens. Ok my kids are getting a bit wild...hope all have a wonderful evening....
Yea I recognize that antsy dance too. BUT every once in a while there is a new twist. It's the "we are getting along sooooo good dance." I'll tell you how this one works. We had a wonderful holiday weekend, a few slips that I did great at ignoring, so we had a good time. Last night we did a little shopping and had a lovely dinner together at Olive Garden. 3 beers with meal, but again I was silent about it and just tried to maintain a nice conversation. When we got home he said we have really been having nice times together! I just calmly told him it is because I have been keeping opinions to myself. He said, well I think that's been working and gave me a big hug and kisssometimes this "logic" of his just kills me. So this is the dance, we have been getting along so well.When I got home from work today at 4:30 there was a message on the machine at 11:30 this morning, "I'm at the bar Hon. didn't think you would mind!" and it is 5:10 and he is still there. So here I sit trying to figure out how to keep my mouth shut still, because I posted about this before that if I am not the beer police he really takes advantage of it. So yea I recognize the dance, but there are many of them here.Well going to go do some ME stuff. Tanning bed and maybe a pedicure if they have an opening and since I apparently am not cooking for anyone I think I'll have a sundae for dinner!
ABSOLUTELY! I can relate to that. My dear husband seems to go only so far when he's sober for a while before the irritation begins to show, he's short-tempered, almost like a caged animal.. you can see him begin to move around a bit, almost pace for a few minutes before he gets his 'bar' clothes on and makes an excuse to HAVE to tell somebody something up there or ? (the list goes on)... It's amazing to see all the similarities in the emails I've seen. At least now I know I'm not going crazy.. (even though he likes to say I am.. anything to put the blame onto me)..
I agree with "whatif's" post, as well.. I can understand her trying SOOO very hard to try not to comment. I have a big problem with that, too. I try so hard but I wind up making a comment that sets him off. My A also drinks 2-3 drinks with a dinner out ( I remember once being at Red Lobster and he had 4 of those 'mega-margaritas')!! If we get together with extended family for any kind of occasion, alcohol has to be one of the firsts to pick up before getting there.. I still feel alone at functions like that. I mean, it's like we walk in all together, but after that, I sit on one side and take care of the kids while he goes all over the place with a beer in hand. It's like I don't exist sometimes.. I do see alcohol being a big part of his upbringing and that's a sad thing, too. Anyway, try to relax and I know it's not easy, but at least you are NOT ALONE..
That is the time to focus on ourselves because we know what's ahead. I head to my alanon tools. I like what one of our friends here wrote about imagining him in his HP's hands, because I'm sure out of their picture.
What do the rest of you do when storm clouds are on the horizon?
He wants to pick arguments, pushes buttons, and then blames me for the argument and rushes out to get beer or rum. There's a look on his face, the way he stands - - - he's in a bad mood and I can't tell the reason - just a "funk" 
(that's what I call it). Usually, it's after having been sober for a day sometimes two (not usually two, though). 
How do you know if someone is so far gone into alcoholism that they would need to be inpatient to detox so they don't get DT's or stuff like that? I have a friend who was an intensive care nurse for years and she told me that sometimes they would have to give patients alcohol drips (IV alcohol) to prevent them from actually dying while were going through alcohol withdrawal after a serious accident or other health trauma. I just wonder how far along someone has to be before something like that would be necessary. 
sometimes this "logic" of his just kills me. So this is the dance, we have been getting along so well.When I got home from work today at 4:30 there was a message on the machine at 11:30 this morning, "I'm at the bar Hon. didn't think you would mind!" and it is 5:10 and he is still there. So here I sit trying to figure out how to keep my mouth shut still, because I posted about this before that if I am not the beer police he really takes advantage of it. So yea I recognize the dance, but there are many of them here.Well going to go do some ME stuff. Tanning bed and maybe a pedicure if they have an opening and since I apparently am not cooking for anyone I think I'll have a sundae for dinner!