The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I would like to thank TLC for sending my message!! I was reading the posts on the board and there were many times that I wanted to reply and offer any encouragement and support that I could. I still have no idea what happened or why I couldn't post but it seems to be fixed. I have been gone for a few days trucking with my dad and my HP was deffinately looking after me. We wound up staying at a spa in MooseJaw Sask and it was theriputic and relaxing. Which I needed, especially for what was to come my way!!
I got a call from the interventionist telling me to meet him in a half an hour which ended up being ok because we had just got back to town. I met him and went on a 12 step call for another alanoner and a fellow struggeling with sobriety. I also met some other people that day one was the woman who started Alanon in my parents home town and her husband(20 yrs?) sobriety. All of the people I met were amazing!!! It was the most emotionally draining wonderful day I have had in a long time!!
Well on my trip I travelled through the area where Alberta123 lives I said a prayer for you and your family as I went by your house also wondering which one was yours and when I got to Saskatchewan I though of CDB and said a prayer for you and your family.
Well I left on Wednessday, talked to hubby Thursday which he basically yelled at me for bothering him when I was just letting him know we had arrived in Regina safely. So I followed my vow I made in a previous post and didn't call him the rest of the time I was gone. Figured if he wanted to talk he could phone. It is now Sunday evening I just got home an hour ago and he just phoned "What are ya mad at me I haven't heard from you all weekend" I just told him that I am no longer calling him to check in to just get yelled at and that if he wanted to speak to me or the kids that he could take the time to call us. He appologised and said he was going out for a "quick beer". Well I know what that means and I said ok bye. I did not get mad yell or vent to him about the things that I am struggeling to not be mad about I am doing ok.
Something I learned from this wonderful man I met was that I WILL BE OK!! I am a good person, I am special and I deserve better!!! I am worth it!!! He is comming to my house this week to speak to my husband I am nervous which is to be expected but I am more than ok and ready for what ever might happen.
The alanoner I met her husband had a heart atack after going on a bender after 6 weeks sobriety, I really felt for her. What I also realized is that I don't want to watch my husband go down the path of death any more. I know I can not change him or make him do anything. I can however introduce him to people who have been where he is now and maybe in that put the idea of sobriety out there for him. I also realized that I love him enough to let him go and I love my kids enough to stop this way of life from influencing them any longer. I also realized that I love my self enough to concentrate on myself and my kids only. I have time now and today is a day that I can make better and only I can do that for me.
I am guessing that this is getting long... Thanks to my friends here I love you in a very special way.
How long were you not able to post? And are you still living with your spouse? What was this vacation about? And guess what? I was at that same spa in MooseJaw! I went there for a fibromalgia convention about 3 years ago! That is where I met that one chat friend that later on died. It was a great place to go and relax :) I have some cousins in Regina too. Thanks for the prayers you said for me and my family. I may have been at the cabin at the time too which is about 2 hours from Regina. Gosh, too back the timing wasn't better or my parents would have driven me there to meet you!
I can't wait to here from you again! Let me know what is going on. I haven't had to time go read the posts yet but will check here later on. Your friend in recovery,,,,,,cdb :)
Way to cool!! It is too bad that we couldn't hookup and have a visit!!
Next time you go out that way you should let me know and I could meet you at that spa in Moose Jaw and have a relaxing visit!
I couldn't post for over a week and it was driving me nuts!!! But any way it seems fine now.
The trip was last minute. My dad had to haul an air seeder to Regina and wanted some company, which worked out good because I needed time away from the insanity! the kids did too. So I took Zack out of school last Wednessday and went to meet dad and drove to Regina on Thursday morning. It was so long but good for all of us! My dad is so worried about me and I am noticing it which is bothing me but I am working my recovery, looking after my kids and making changes. So hopefully he won't worry so much. Dad phones every day asking how much hubby has drank that day and then every day he tells me that he is going to die if he keeps it up. This is comming from my dad who was the same way when I was growing up and still drinks but more socially. I have noticed that he doesn't drink at my house any more and when I am around. HMM think he sees himself when he looks at my husband?? Don't know for sure but it does make me think.
Any hoo the interventionist was good for me did me alot of good and I am looking forward to talking to him again. I have phoned every time that he told me to but he hasn't been around. He is a bussy man and I understand. I just want to know what he is planning and I feel like I have to prepair myself. Make plans for the kids to be gone etc. But most importantly ask him what I should do in preperation for his arrival. So much going through my mind and I have alot of hope that it will help even if it is just a bit. But I am fully prepaired for nothing to come of this as well.
Enough about me. How are you feeling?? I can relate to how you are feeling with your mom it is hard, strange and uncomfortable and heart breaking to watch our loved ones slipp away from alzheimers. I hold on to the time I had with my grandad and take the moments that are good and be greatful for the very few moments that we have.
I hope that your daughter is still doing well. I have to give her alot of credit for doing so well considering all that has happened in the last little while. It is wonderful. This suprise trip that she is planning does sound scary but in away if she does well maybe your husband will begin to let go and begin to trust again. Lots of maybe's but I am one of thoes hopefulls.
I have to go now and get my son to school so talk to you soon.
