The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been having a really rough day. Today is my husbands and my 19 Anniversary. We where supposed to go out to dinner tonight (the counselor had suggested it) and we where supposed to go to an AA meeting last night.
After the hospital fiasco the other night his mother called me to yell at me that how dare the counselor and I say that she is to involved in her sons life, when she saw how upset I was when my baby was hurt the other night. She said "what you are the only mother allowed to be involved in their babies life?" I blew at her. My baby is 17 months old was screaming, scared and bleeding all over the place. Her baby is 41 and she interferes in his marriage and condones his drinking and insists she comes first in his life.
I told my husband the other day that him coming here after work and spending time with the kids and I, was supposed to help our family and help him maintain sobriety. Instead he leaves here, goes back to his parents and drinks. I said I will not support you having the best of both worlds and asked him to leave me alone for a while. I just can't deal with it, and I will not deal with his mother.
Well he has been calling all day and talking to the machine and getting drunker each call. All I have done is cry. Then around 4 a florist delivered a huge vase of roses. This just made me cry more. Plus they had to cost a fortune that we don't have.
Why doesn't he get it that I don't need an expensive gift or expensive flowers. The best gift he could give me would be to stay sober and to tell that old bat to go to H&LL.
Sorry, I am just feeling really sorry for myself today.
Happy anniversary hun eventho it is not happy right now, my mom in law is like that I finally let her go, our a's never see the true root to the madnes until they work a program themselves take careof you hun and set the boundries you feel comfortable with and stick to what is most important you jeannie, and your babies, it stinks it is one sided right now but you can make it, and you are a wonderful mom for trying your hardest to seek sanity and serenity we love you tc always cloud
Jeannie, I am sorry you're anniversary was not a good one this year. I understand the frustration over the choices of the man you love. You have choices of your own as well...If you choose to let mil continue to run your life..thats your choice. If you choose to let your husbands choices of irresponsibility and abandonment drag you down...thats your choice. If you choose to say my kids and I will survive and this is how I'm gonna do it...thats a choice too. All I'm saying Jeannie is that you have to start making choices for you, by yourself...you may be suprised that the options may be more and better than is apparent to you right now. I don't know what it will take for your husband to realize the choices he's made...seems they will continue this game as long as we will play. Anyway Jeannie I wish you a happy anniversary!!! Enjoy the roses, you deserve every one ten fold.
Your friend
Mark S
By the way went back to your ER post to findout what happened..per your ER reference here...WOW you have some great kids, I too would be proud, of them and of yourself. Thats a display of love if I ever saw it!!!
I love reading your posts and responses--you are always so kind and sweet. I'm sorry that life is difficult right now--probably has been for a long time. You are doing a great job with your children. You will know what's right for you and your children---when the time is right.
I'm sorry that you area having such a rotten anniversary. I have to say that in the ten yrs I was married to my ex (who, BTW is STILL drunk, 15 yrs later) were some of the unhappiest yrs of my life. I remember many so-called anniversaries..... Someone here replied to you about how you deserve every one of those roses and boy is he ever RIGHT!! I never got any of those!! Anyway, you hang in there. You obviously love your man and I understand all of that. My love just ran out I guess. I really DID have a limit. He almost killed me so many times. I shudder to think that you are probably in danger from him. I have not read your ER post cause I'm not sure that I can handle it! I have a LOT of PTSD here from all of that stuff. Take care of YOU girl....and your baby.
Jeannie, Ive had a lot of sad anniversaries and birthdays and holidays over the 18 + years with my A too I feel for your pain. It's great though that you have those wonderful kids. We have that in comon and also from posts of yours since I've been here, that we love those men soooo much. XOXOXO whatif
Big hugs to you.. Know that I am thinking of you often and saying special prayers for you and your family. Stay strong. I hope your baby is doing better!
Enjoy the roses, you deserve every one ten fold.