Thank you so much for all who responded to my distress. That was a hard one. You all
had so many great things to share with me and I related to you all.

I could not even sing. I couldn't, I usually do. Baby steps is perfect. My son came out today
and he built me one raised bed so far. It is two feet high so it is easy to reach for
me.
Got me a glider that seats three or four and then lays in to a bed. My son got it
for me.

Also got good news, the gal who has the little 94 Toyota sold it to me and I can pay it
and she will keep it until I pay it off. I am so happy. Over thirty mpg, my truck now gets
less than nine.

So I am doing it for me. It is a nice looking truck too. She has too many vehicles.

Has low mileage too.

Yep the sun helps me. Dries up the mud and it is fun to see the pairs of pigs laying
together in the tall grass. Then ya get to watch my silly little mostly Black Basset
Tavish, swimming around in the pond like an otter.

Sauveur, my Great Pyr was laying in my little two by three pond form... lol giggle.

Chief the horse got in the pond and so did Dickens my pot bellied pig.

Yes they help me. Thank you for caring. I don't hit bottom a lot, but when I do
you guys inspire me.

Part of it is I have changed my eating habits. I gotta lose weight to help my body
be able to do better as far as my joints. So I am eating very healthy. Thought I could eat
yougurt.... well the dairy was poisoning me. That was a big part of my mood.

Was hoping lactaid would enable me to be able to eat it. So instead I went and got
meal bars for when I cannot eat. I could get youghurt down in the morn. Made another fruit
salad too.

Taking care of me. Yea it is a drag. The A demons will call or come out here. I hope he does not
come out here. I guess I better make a plan. Not answer the door an keep them locked.
He probably won't come in anyway becuz I have a pot bellied pig named Luster
who absolutely is devoted to me. He will not let anyone or anything hurt me. And
believe me, when you have the love of a pig, they are impossible to stop if they are
protecting you.

I was thinking how I am not afraid of any animal here. But then I realized, most
people would not come in here with two 1200 pound pigs, three llamas, a devil bird
turkey and dogs and pots all over.

They are all around my place, in front too.

Yes Whitie, I should get out there and start slow and dig my pond. That would be cool.
I plan to put liner down, then cement so no one can hurt anything. I KNOW the big pigs
will be in it.

Yea wow, sad eh? That someone you love, the disease they have, can cause
so much horrible pain in us.

Alanon makes it a zillion times easier and most the time I am ok. We always hope for the best
but it seems at some point we get dashed again.

If no one loved the A's it would be so sad.

Well tomorrow, more babysteps. Even very senior members need to
do that sometimes.

much love to you all,debilyn