The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to see a therapist last night for the first time in my life.
The therapist went VERY WELL
I got to dump alot of my stuff out to her.
poor her. LOL she took ALOT of notes.
I even asked her at the end, hey, too much crap? I can go somewhere else, but she was okay with all the crap.
She helped me set boundaries to my life which is what I needed
End result:
I am to call a DR- psychiatrist and get on a very low dose of antidepressants - this i knew without her, I work 11 hours a day now but have trouble concentrating on things......
I am to get an apartment - no more living in the hotel - this I needed to hear, the hotel is great but ALOT of money..compared to the apt
I was scared to get the apt as it signalled to me change
She said to be very careful of my A trying to CHARM me - I said, oh so you know this? That is why you are in the chair and I am on the couch hahahahaha
So, MY BOUNARIES
My A will be sober and in a program for 6 months before I think of reconciliation
The counselor thinks he will continue to drink as do I
I am to maintain good contact with family and friends
I am to only return to the relationship after my A's 6 month of sobriety hahaha on that from a position of strength
Boy did it feel good to bucket dump my crap to her
And crap it is, 14 years of being controlled by another person has just proven to be too much.
i have sent up the white flag, I surrender.
i give my life to God
Thank-you all for the tremendous support you have given me over the last 3 weeks and prior to that too
I just cannot do this alone. And I am never alone now.
I have my God, my alanon family of choice, my friends and family
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Hi Megan - WOW - What alot of courage you have. Enjoy looking for your own place and making it yours.
I was surprised when I was on my own that my taste was very different than what we had always chosen "together". I finally realized how much I had lost myself.
Good for you- I know that must have taken tremendous courage on your part. Change is scary but sometimes it can also be a real opening in life. To me it sounds like program is starting to transform your life.
I too started with at therapist and I know what you mean about unloading the crap! I usually feel great when I come out of there. It so helps to have another outlook on what's going on. I'm decorating my OWN place in my head already and I'm still in the home! I'm planning and waiting at this point. It may bee that I just go some day and I want to have some things in place.
The boundries were helpful to me. I know he's going to promise to quit as I walk out the door. Now I know what I should expect. The siix months in program and sober sounds right to me.
