The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know people care, but unless you are living it, no one can fully understand what it's like to be physically dependent on your alcoholic husband. I can walk a short distance, & we have a small house, so I can get around with a cane or walker at home. But to go outside, someone has to take me & I'm stuck in a wheelchair.
I'm only givng these details because I'm praying that someone in a similar situation is willing to be my sponsor, because it adds yet another dimension to the problem & how you handle it.
This is my 3rd marriage. Alcoholism has affected my whole life in so many ways. I love my husband, I just hate this hideous disease. We've been together app. 8 yrs, married for almost 6yrs. I have children ages 18 & 19, and step children 18 and 12.
I have been going to the Miracles in Progress meetings and they are helping me to begin working on MY disease of co-dependency. It would be great if I could find someone who goes to those meetings too.
I am at a point that I really need a sponsor to get me on the right track of the 12 steps. I would so apprreciate a lady who is willing to give her time to help me get through this.
Hi, I sent you an email. Check your private messages. I have hidden mental disabilities I guess you would call it. PMS/PMDD, Seas. Aff. Disorder, borderline type II diabetes, all a spinoff from a thyroid imbalance which was caused by stress of living with an alcoholic husband. So I understand the total dependence on the alcoholic husband for many things. Alanon has helped me to find "life" and "living" even though I was living through some sad stuff at the time. It also help keep my spirit from dying and probably ME! Keep coming back. Do not forget to check out our Step Board.
Since I was a shut-in to start with---I bought all alanon [3 readers]--Courage to Change, One Day at a TIme, and Hope for Today. Also, (Alanon's) Paths to Recovery Book was very, very lifesaving to me to work the 12 steps.
Many alanon meetings are held in handicap accessible places! You have many possibilites!
Hi, I am physically challenged. I have a right leg amputed below the knee, and I was told two years ago that I was born with a severe form MS called Charot-Marie-Tooth disease that is inherited and I passed it on to my only and youngest son who is 8yrs old almost 9. I had my right foot amputed the first year of our marriage at the ankle, and the last four years, they have been taking three to four inches at a time due to me wearing my leg out from the inside out. Plus, my MS has days where I can barely use my hands, and my balance is not the greatness. I have been in & out of my wheelchair the last four years, and at first I had to depend on my H but his drinking got to a point where I couldn't rely on him. I have always been really deteremined (stubborn) since forever, so I have had to learn to rely on my children to work with me as a team since my H has proven not reliable due to his illness. I have good days and bad days. I have learned to live my life for me and do things without him with our boys over the last year and half. I even took the kids to the coast for ten days with no leg and we did just fine. You need to develop a buddy system- plus if you are receiving Medicare, there are service vans or the bus system that you can use on your own if you want to. It is really hard to go out alone because you are afraid that you will get struck somewhere and no one will be there to help you. I know from personal experience that even strangers will help you out. One day I went out to go to a doctor's appt and my H was not reliable that day. I have to use crutches to put my chair in the back of my car then hop up front and drive there. I was trying to get the chair out and it was lightly raining, so my crutches slipped and me and the chair went down on the pavement. I nice lady and an old lady rush over, and they were so worry that I hurt myself that they help me get the chair upright and then they help me get inside the building. Just believe in yourself and laugh when you find yourself in a awkward and embarrassing moment, trust me , it helps. You have to take care of yourself before you can be there for him. I have always been the strong one in my relationship, and when I got really ill, well my H did not handle it worse and it only made a bad situation worse. Now he realizes that I will not deal with him making excuses to me for his drinking and I will do want I what when I need to with him or without him. About six months ago, I got a new prothesis, had it about three weeks, was going across the parking lot into the hospital for some blood work, and I heard this funny noise while I was walking, so I stopped, looked at my new leg, nothing, so I took another two steps, and snap!, my leg broke all the way around the ankle area into two. I was standing by a cement thing, that blocks people from driving into the hospital area. I grabbed this thing, and was wondering just how the "h" I was going to get to my car that was a good ten cars away. While I was standing there holding on to this thing, a lady was walking by me, I sorted of yelled at her to get her attention, and she came over to me, and I explained to her that my leg was broken and I needed her to help me. She wanted to go get someone inside at first because she thought my real leg was broke, ha ha. I asked her if she would go and get my car and get it as close to me as possible since I do not hop. This was a total stranger I gave my keys to, and she went and got the car and I managed to get into the driver's seat, and drive home. Well, when I got home, I realize no one was home to help me, so I had to crawl from my car to my bedroom on my hands and knees, and then wrestle my leg off, and get my chair out of storage all on my own. I realized then that as a physcially challenged person, I really can't let a little thing called dignity bug me. I laughed so hard when I told my mom and best friend about it on the phone and they just laughed also, or they would have just been beside themselves unless I make fun of myself first.
Please feel free to talk to me. I know how it is to feel trapped in the house, but you really are not if you just look around. It took me a long time to realize that.
