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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> New here!
Post Info TOPIC: New here!
lkmason


Newbie

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New here!
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Hi, my husband is an alcoholic and a user.  He just finished a 3 week outpatient program last week.  He feels like his biggest problem was his cocaine use.  He thinks that he has a handle on it, and that a beer every now and then will be okay.  He has been saying that if he drinks anything it will not be alone, but with me by his side.  Well, last night he comes home from work late and guess what, he had a beer on the way home!  How am I supposed to react to that?  He goes tonight to his first "Aftercare" program.  I am so mad and disgusted and hurt!  It's like he has all these justifications for everything.  He has sa tressful job.  He's only been back since Monday.  I've begged him to find something new, and all he does is keep saying he is looking!  We are so broke and I just can't go through this again.  It's been going on for 3 years now, since I was pregnant with our first child.  I am now newly pregnant with our 2nd child and I just can't go on!  I hate what this is doing to my family.  I love him and I have stood by him, but I just don't think I can do it anymore!


Thanks for letting me vent!



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Jeannie


~*Service Worker*~

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Hi lkmason,


Welcome, you are definatley not alone.


Most of us here have been right where you are, scared, lonely, confused and even fed up.


First off, congratulations on the new baby. Remember that Mom is number one and you have to take care of you first, baby depends on it.


They always have excuses and reasons, and there is nothing you can do about it. He has to do this one on his own. It isn't your fault and you can't stop it.


As for the job, if he found a new one, he would probably find another reason until he decides the time is right.


My youngest is 16 months old and I went through that pregnancy almost completely alone. It was not easy, and it was very stressful, but the love I had for that baby, gave me strength I never knew I had. I also found so much support from co-workers, friends and the people here.


Come back often, read what others are going through and you will see that it isn't you and you aren't alone. Here and at face to face meetings you can find love, support and just places to vent and to take care of you no matter what he does.


                               Love Jeannie



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david62


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1501
Date:
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Hi Lkmason,


You came to the right place.  Please try to find a meeting near you that you can attend.  The following link can help you find one:


http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html


Love,


David62


 



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Laughter is the Beginning of Healing
bcanuck


Senior Member

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Posts: 244
Date:
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Welcome klmason.


You've been down and are continuing on a long winding road but hopefully you can find the tools here to help you get by. You are not alone.  I wish you well.


Bonnie



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Bonnie
lildee


Senior Member

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Posts: 114
Date:
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Welcome klmason,


I faced the same problems as you. With the cocaine addiction. My hubby was using for over 2 years. He found his salvation in Cocaine Anonymous. It is geared just like AA. Based on the same Twelve Steps. They have regular face to face meetings. Check the website for meetings in your area. This is the link to their web site:


http://www.ca.org/


 


All I can say is that he has been clean now for over 18 months.


For me I found my serenity in Alanon. I wish you peace on your journey.


Love & God Bless,


lildee


 



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Love and God Bless
Diva


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2188
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I understand how you feel about this. You wonder, "How stupid can you be?" But keep in mind that whether he drinks or not is his decision, and nothing on this earth that you do will make any difference. As far as staying with him goes, that's a choice that IS yours. You can set limits, but when you do, be prepared to adhere like epoxy to the limits you set. I wish there were words I could say that would make it all right. I am sorry that I cannot. You must physically and emotionally take care of yourself, your innocent child, and the dear one who is on the way. You and the babies are your main concern. Perhaps finding a life without him will be your salvation. I don't know, but my prayers and positive thoughts are with you. Allow your higher power, whatever or whomever you believe that to be, guide you.

With deep caring and concern, Diva

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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
lkmason


Newbie

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Posts: 2
Date:
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Thanks so much for all of your support.  It helps so much to know that I am not alone!  I will check back often to this site.


God bless you all,


Laurie



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