The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a problem with my self-esteem. Before Alanon I would have a very hard time dealing with changes. I am trying to do alittle better with that.
My husband has gotten his license and is now driving my car which is good, but I have less control over him. I know that is why I get upset when he takes the car. I am trying very hard to deal with that. I know that I will be ok that he is coming back and not to worry. Even though I shouldn't I still calling him all the time when he is out with my car. But he does answer the phone and talks to me.
Another thing I am dealing with is that Rick might be getting a post office job which I know is good because he will be able to make good money, benifts, time off, and so on. That then means I will have to deal with a major change that he is now going to be working father from the house which means he will be getting home later. The other problem with this is the control issue it means he has to get a car and then he will be able to go any where he wants. I know there is nothing I can do and it is something I am working on.
For me my self esteem is bad as you can tell. Yesterday I celbrate my 7 yrs being a my job and he got his 90 day pin which was cool. We went out to the diner an we sat with other aa people. I felt out of place because there were women there that were very out going and friendly. I also consider them more mature then me. I have a very some times imature way about me. My husband is alot older then me and sometimes I do wonder why he is with me.
I know that I have come along way about feeling good about my self and I know I have alot of things to work on. I have now complete step one which took me a while because I had to let go of the control issues which I struggle now with.
Becky
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
Okay so they might be more mature than you, but that doesn't make them better.
Don't ask yourseld why your husband is with you, tell yourself that he is because he is darn lucky.
Age is a number, it is years on this earth. My oldest son is graduating from HighSchool in a few weeks and my baby is learning to walk. I just got an invitation to my 25th High School reunion. It is funny because some days I feel like I am still 18 and graduation was just yesterday, other days I feel 100. It is all in the frame of mind.
Take a little bit of time each day and look at your good qualities, be fair and have some fun with it, don't underestimate yourself. Keep reminding yourself how wonderful you are and how lucky he is.
Learn to love yourself, you are loveable and do deserve it.
That meant alot to me to hear that. Your right I am a important person. I am glad for this program because I can write or talk about my feelings and no one puts me down, or makes me feel bad about what I am feeling.
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
Becky/nycbt (I will try to remember your name when I see it : )
Your post struck a lot of similar notes with me. We also only have one car right now so I know how much fun (yeah, right) that can be. And it's my car, a fact I constantly remind him about. And I also know where you are coming from in feeling a bit immature around other more outgoing women. I know about feeling uncomfortable around others, that is a character defect I have struggled with for years. I am 44 now and at times I can act like I'm around 12, a fact which upsets and flusters my other half (who is my A and has multiple addictions, all in recovery, thank goodness) . I often say I wish I would of gotten into recovery years and years ago...like at 12 or 13 (haha). I grew up in my own version of dysfunction before we knew what it was called. All through school I was a literal wallflower, and still have issues around being like that though I do break thru at times. He is the more extroverted type (somewhat) and I am the introvert (total opposite of the "normal" man/woman relationship). So it was very brave of you to share yourself so much from the heart. These are the types of conversations my other half wishes I would have more with him. Thanks, Dana
