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Well we had another trip to the counselor and scheduled another one for next week.
My husband said he has not had a drink since last Thursday when we last went. I do believe him as he looked better than he has and was obviously not drinking tonight. He also said he had been to 2 AA meetings.
He did have his bloodwork done, (even though Mommy said not to) and his liver enzyms are very high and the Dr did tell him he needs to stop.
There was no anger tonight, he just kept saying that he loves me and wants to come home.
The counselor asked me what I thought and I said that I did not believe that he wants to stop yet. He said that yes in order to remain sober he has to want it every day, but he said that this is a good start, that if he just stops and starts to think a little clearer that he could accept sobriety, that in his opinion, for whatever reason, step one has to be to put down the beer.
He asked my husband if he was an alcoholic, and my husband said yeah I have a drinking problem, the counselor then asked him again, okay, but are you an alcoholic, and my husband said yes I am. The counselor asked him if he can cut back, and my husband said, no, it is all or nothing for me.
He asked my husband what he wants and he said I want my Wife back and my kids, and then the counselor said what do you want for you, and he said that is for me, they are my life.
The counselor said okay, now the work starts. He told my husband that he needs to deal with his drinking on his own, and keeping his parents out of it and our marriage. Then he asked me if it would be okay for my husband to start coming around to spend time with the kids and I, and maybe help a little around here. I said when he is sober he is always welcomed. My husband said he would like that, and it would keep him busy. I said the only stipulation is that he can come as often as he wishes as long as he is not drinking, but he must come alone, his parents are not welcomed. He agreed. He says he is going to our sons last Tennis match with me tomorrow.
My head is a little muddled tonight. I want so badly for him to stick with it this time, but I have been here before, so I will not get my hopes up. I love him and miss him, but I can't back down. The kids and I cannot live with him drinking, we've tried it and it makes us miserable.
I'm not making any promises. I just keep telling myself that if he is seriouse I will know in time. I am going to the Tennis match no matter what, and I will cry and enjoy my babies last High School match. (He is a Senior) It will be really nice for me and our son if he is there to watch as well, but if not thats okay too.
For tonight at least I feel happy. Tonight he hugged me tight and didn't smell of beer. and told me he loved me. For tonight it was enough to just enjoy something I have missed so much. I guess tomorrow will take care of itself, one way or the other.
Sounds like you're having a good day..good for you. You're right, tomorrow is another day and hopefully it is even better than today. Enjoy the tennis match!
why is it that we can turn our attitude and mood around simply by getting a hug that doesn't smell like beer? The peace and happiness we feel when we get a hug or a kiss or get close without the smell of beer ..... how do we get that when there is beer? Can we?
I know the smell makes me sick, over the years it has gotten worse, that the very smell of alcohol turns my stomach. I guess because it went hand in hand with his abuse and horrible behavior.
On a different note, when drinking he is not capable of just hugging me and loving me, it isn't even that he gets affectionate, he gets ridiculouse, he paws at me and gets too aggressive. There is nothing loving or romantic or appealing about it. It is just sloppy and horrible and I feel like he doesn't even know it is me he is near. Words of endearment are just nasty like bitch or crude and ugly, sexual but in an ugly way.
I guess it comes down to wether it is the husband I love hugging me, or the alcoholism. I love being close to my husband, and I love the smell of his skin, but the smell of beer oozing out of is poors is not hm and not appealing.
Dear Jeannie, I am so happy for you! I know you will treasure each and every happy moment! Your share brought tears to my eyes. One day at a time, one step at a time,I pray for you and your hubby. Love TLC
