The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I would like to share my experience about how change does become possible when I stay in my own reality, and work on myself.
My son has been going from one relationship to another, he had found someone with whom he felt was the right person for him. He felt good about her, since he knew that she believed in spirituality, and the HP.
It was her birthday, he gave her roses, brought her out for supper etc. When they took a walk together, she told him to stop talking, that she liked silence, and his feeling were very hurt. She wanted him to come back to the house after their walk, and he was so hurt that he dropped her off at her house, and he went home.
Now it is not working between the two of them, and he has started taking more sleeping pills, and alcohol again. He is living by night, and sleeping all day. This morning, I was speaking to my husband about about him, and my husband said, that he must be numbing himself, because he is in pain. I was so surprised, because I never realized that my husband had understood before. He used to blame our sons, and judge them. I know that the HP has a plan, and I know he is with us!! Thank you for listening, and I hope that this post will let others to know, that we need to keep our faith, and the hope that things will change for the better.
Hi Teddybear, I feel sorry for your son. Too bad he didn't tell her that she hurt his feelings when she told him not to talk. And, glad to see that he is looking for a girl with spirit. One of my biggest problems is not expressing myself when I get hurt feelings. So glad you have such a wonderful attitude filled with faith. I, too, am beginning to see that I cannot "move" my A to do anything...he will have to learn his own way. I am at peace. Thank you for sharing. Love and blessings, Annie
I know it is hard to watch your son go through that, its hard to see our children suffer, have you suggested that maybe he needs to tell her how he feels? It must be hard but like with any a you need to let them make there own mistakes and let his hp help him through it.
Thanks for your post, it is always helpful to me. Expressing feelings is not easy, for years I have been working on myself in this area, and it is never over.
I went through so much pain because I kept everything inside, and my hurt manifested itself through sickness. Like Louise Hays said " disease" which means dis ease in ourself. She knew what she was saying, because I used to be more like that, and I am changing that day by day.
Keep on working on that because you will keep healthy and well. I am proud of you that you have let your A assume his own lessons in life. We all have lessons to learn, and when we try to cover up anyone's mistakes, we are doing ourselves, and them a great disservice.
Thank you so much for your post!! Yes, it is very difficult when it comes to our children, and it is difficult to let go, depending on the situation. Strangly enough, in many of my son's situations I can see my past patterns. Our children learn to interact with others through observation, and when my son tells me things that have happened to him, I see myself. He knows how I was in the past, and he remembers more than I can imagine.
When he was three years old, he remembers me crying, and wanting to leave, and having nowhere to go. During those years, I did not have Al-Anon, or a message board, and no hope at all, no one to turn to.
Thank you for helping me to remember where I was, and where I am today.
