The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
If I am feeling angry, I do not have to take my anger out on others in a destructive way, and I do not have the right. If my usual response is to scream, sulk or to lash out with cruel words, today I can find a new solution of what works for me when I get mad. I can start to see new ways to handle my anger when I get mad. I know that it really does work, and I keep serenity, and stay peaceful. I am the only person that I can change, and let it begin by me.
"We can pave the way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find healthy outlets for our own negative feelings
I have been feeling much anger and resentment lately. When I feel my anger rising, I try to lash out at my husband and make him feel guilty. Then, when I see him crying himself to sleep, I feel guilt and that makes me angrier. I have never been one to be "quietly angry". When I am angry, everyone needs to know it and try to fix it. This is somenthing I need to seriously work on.
Great advice. I'm not always in control of my feelings and it is hard to identify what is going on with me. I'm not sure if I am angry or sad, but I am trying to find healthy outlets where I can do for myself, take a bath, go bowling with my friends or help out at my kids games (I love that), it helps to release some tension so I can think more clearly.
I think that you are making very good progress, because you are seeing the situation very clearly. It is difficult to change, when we can not see that there is a problem. As we are told in the Serenity Prayer, changing the things that we can change. I know that when I have resentment or anger, I am usually hurting myself more than anyone else. Give yourself the gift of serenity. Believe in your ability to change, with the help and guidance of the HP.
Thank you for the reminder, i am learning how to do that everday, My A fell of the wagaon, after a month, i came home from work and , there he was drinking, I didnt say a word to him, not a look or action, i didnt even get mad, dissapointed, yes, very, but i didnt get mad! i felt proud of myself, maybe i shouldnt, but i am slowly learning. little by little.I also have had issues with communicating how i feel, now i think i dont know when to shut up! lol ! Learn sometihng new every day.
Your reminders for today, really help, thank you teddy,
Thank you for your post. YES YES, be very proud of yourself, you certainly deserve it!! I am very proud of you too. Each step that you take, leads you on the right track.
Isn't it so strange, how when we do something that we are NOT proud of, we beat ourselves up, and owe up to it. So take what is yours and take your right hand, and pat your left shoulder. You are really going towards better, and you are giving your A the chance to assume his responsibilites too. Good work, and stay strong!!
Hey...don't hold that anger in too tightly...I'm the opposite. Everyone thinks I'm so happy and inside the anger builds so much I could throw things. I think it's so much healthier to let it out...course maybe you need to work on how.
I do not hold my anger in anymore because, it will only hurt me. What I posted was from a book which I paraphrased. I just wanted to illustrate how we can hurt ourselves when we do not vent our anger in a healthy way. Today, when I am angry I let people know without putting them down. I am not willing to hurt myself anymore. I had some blood tests done this week, and everything is fine. I am not surprise, yet grateful because I have changed the things that I can change to be happy. I think that we are misreading each others messages today? and that is alright, because it gives us a different perspective. Thanks for your post!
I have a really problem with my angry. In the past I would throw things. I would break glass, scream makes scenes. The thing that brought me to Alanon was angry. One day I was so mad at my a yelling at me that I put my hand through some thing and a that time I knew I had a problem.
I have physcial fought with my husband and got into alot of fights. It is a hard thing to do is deal with angry. I try now to walk away and call someone on the phone to calm down.
__________________
Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
