The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I thank each and every one of you for you ESH and for your support.
Alanon gave me the strength to walk out the door.
My shoes are new but getting broken in.
I had lunch today with my older sister who just graduated from law school.
Discussing my situation she said that she prayed for years that i would leave my A and her prayers were answered.
she gave me the name of a very good divorce lawyer and gave me some general advice about divorce in NJ
I am nowhere near ready to work on divorce, but appreciated the information
i thanked her for these 6 years since my Mom died for meeting me for lunch. She told me my Mom had asked her to do it.
The first time she did it out of obligation but after that she said she enjoyed it.
I have dinner tonight with my brother and sister in law. I have a meeting tomorrow night, an alanon dance on saturday and an alanon "potluck" on Sunday.
And work, it has quite expanded to fill my days, thank-you God.
Now for the irony.
My other sister (10 years younger) had surgery on Tuesday. She had breast cancer and a mastectomy last year. She went in for correcting the breast augmentation they did after the surgery (she said they were crooked) and also had some Liposuction done on her thighs. She is thin but could not fit her thighs into the custom riding britchs my Mother had given her.
Yes the Irony
I sent her a gift basket of shower gels etc pampering stuff.
She emailed me to thank me.
then she said that she wanted to talk to me and we setup a time of this morning.
She told me that she had told her husband he had to leave and he had agreed to take the RV and go live in a campground leaving her and her dogs in the house.
I shared with her my situation of leaving for awhile and we talked alot. her husband is a sex addict, he goes to addict 12 step but still cheats and is not working his program.
My sister asked him to take the day off to drive her to the hospital and he said he was saving his vacation days to get work done on his tooth. selfish. it was the straw that broke the camels back.
She told him last thursday and I left my A on saturday.
odd timing God.....
My mother always told me to look after my younger sister and my experince strength hope from alanon have been shared with her.
Okay very very long thanks for reading.
ME?
Still in the hotel My A called a shorth while ago to tell me he rode his mountain bike in the park today for 3 hours. he fell towards the end but he was okay.
he said that he missed me biking. i said that i always enjoyed biking with him and he was good at it.
Then i said i have work to finish up.
I really do believe my HP is strongly working through me.
Thanks for listening and the support and all the comments under my previous post that I have not had time to thank you for.
megan
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Megan, thank you for sharing and keep taking care of YOU. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sister as you continue to bring healthy growth into your lives. Blessings, Annie
Yes very ironic. You have alot of good thoughts and prayers from me to you and your sister. Stay strong and keep doing thoes nice little things for your self!! Good luck finding an apartment and with everything else!
Reading the posts,I know you have found the strength to get away from it all for a while.I know a lot of people envy you . I think everyone could use a little 'me time'.I also 'read between the lines' that you still love him and miss him. Nothing is written in stone, love. Maybe this will be his wake-up call? Hard to say with an 'A'.
My prayers are with you, so happy for you that you have a chance to get away from it all. I am fortunate that I have been able to too, at times. Sometimes, that's all we need, sometimes we go back, sometimes we don't. At least you have given yourself time to think things over. Don't rush into any big decissions, just spoil yourself and enjoy your time alone. Maybe during this time you will find what you need and really want out of life? Right now, I too envy you your solitude. Treasure it, take as long as you need to make whatever decisions. Love and prayers, TLC
I've following your posts lately. I'm jealous and curious. I holdin' on by my fingernails with my a husband. Our son will be graduating high school soon and then off to college in the fall. Meanwhile my a has started drinking again on a regular basis causing me more distress than I expected. Maybe it's just all the hoopla around the graduation. Unfortunatley, this stress has almost paralyized me. It's all I can do to get through the work day, let alone plan a party, send him off to college and probably leave my husband!
Anyway, I was touched with your sister story. My sister and I have grown apart a lot over the last three years. I wasn't sharing my troubles with her and it turns out that she wasn't sharing with me either. Her son has been in drug rehab and she started to tell me about that and about Ala-non one night. I told her I had been in Aal-non for two years. We both then felt very sad that hadn't been sharing with each other. It's still hard for us to open up to each other because we were taught that weakness' had to be hidden. Our parents weren't drinkers but very private. That can also be a sick behavior.
Thanks for sharing, your story gives me strength. Stay strong :)
Yes JJ thanks for the hugs. I am making myself stay strong
TLC2
I know you have found the strength to get away from it all for a while.I know a lot of people envy you . I think everyone could use a little 'me time'.I also 'read between the lines' that you still love him and miss him. Nothing is written in stone, love. Maybe this will be his wake-up call? Hard to say with an 'A'.
Oh please don’t be jealous, my life was extremely miserable with my husband much of the time. I was very worried for my sanity.
Yes, between the lines I still do love him very much, that is very true.
. Don't rush into any big decisions, just spoil yourself and enjoy your time alone. Maybe during this time you will find what you need and really want out of life? Right now, I too envy you your solitude. Treasure it, take as long as you need to make whatever decisions. Love and prayers, TLC
No big decisions for awhile. I just booked another week at a different hotel. That one has a fitness center, pool and balcony and is closer to my job. I tried to book 2 weeks on line but backed myself off to one week.
One day at a time….
whitie
. Unfortunatley, this stress has almost paralyized me. It's all I can do to get through the work day, let alone plan a party, send him off to college and probably leave my husband!
Yes whitie, the stress of living with the insanity of an active a was killing me for sure. My health mental and physical was being affected. It is only through the strength of alanon friends and the alanon program that I realized I had choices
Anyway, I was touched with your sister story. My sister and I have grown apart a lot over the last three years. I wasn't sharing my troubles with her and it turns out that she wasn't sharing with me either.. Our parents weren't drinkers but very private. That can also be a sick behavior.
I was raised in the same sort of private family too. Not drinkers but you NEVER discuss family business. You keep everything inside.
We are as sick as our secrets
I am glad my story gives you strength
thanks to all for the support. i push on. One day at a time.
Tonight an alanon dance tomorrow a potluck dinner then back to work
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
As I read your share , it was almost like you were journalling. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us, and your honesty. Sounds like your sisters and you and (even your mother) have been brought closer together, by all this. Wonderful that you have siblings that now you can be open and honest with and them with you. Take care megan, there is hope, and truly it is one day at a time!
I have not been posting very much lately. Today I had some time to read some of the posts. I really appreciated reading your post. You certainly do have a lot of courage. I can see that you have learned how to take care of yourself and your needs. I know that the Al-Anon meetings have helped me so much too, and I am learning to put peace and serenity into my life, to live the PRESENT MOMENT I feel so blessed.
Your post is filled with so much encouragement and hope. It is so evident that you have put peace and serenity into your life, and I am so proud of you. You have an angel always watching over you and your family. It seems that your mother is with you always, and she is guiding you.
Keep on taking care of yourself, and the biking is such a good thing to do, and it is a lot of fun too. You have just remined me to start back with my biking too. Thanks for being there, and for sharing.
