The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
tonight my a husband who is on a real toot called first his mom later his dad. I don't really think he needed a telephone to reach them halfway around the world. He was shouting loudly enough. I was watching "24" and I have to pay attention to the story line. It on its own makes me so tense. That shouting upstairs in the background hardly registered. I thought oh not a good night to call the folks, but in the back of my mind I remembered TiredTonight telling me of her experience with her inlaws, and it has ever since made me know I don't need to interfere to "protect" their feelings when their son calls them. Wonderful permission to butt out!
I watched the remaining 25 minutes of "24" (it's so good!) and heard telephone shouting from time to time. Now it's over, he's off the phone, it's quiet here with some jazz playing on the radio and I'm calm.
You make me laugh Jill. TO a person who doesn't know the program, that would almost be a crisis, but you made it nothing. Good Job. Tell everyone you know about that story. It is ones like that that lead people to seek the serenity in the program.
atta way to go jill , I am impressed . Hope u enjoyed the show hehe. I always used to stop my husb from calling his family when he was drunk til i got to al anon and started to m ind my own business. They would call and ask what in hell was wrong with him anyway and I learned to just say i dont know u will have to ask him !!
When we stop making them look good, all hell breaks loose. Deatch with love and understanding it really does work. When we stop making them look good , step aside and make them responsible for thier own actions things start to change pretty quickly. good luck Louise
I am learning to truly let him have his dignity to do his own thing. I am also learning not to interfere. I know it in my head, but my actions keeps responding to him. It sounds like you did a wonderful job. You should be very proud of yourself. Keep up the good work.
When I sent the email to my family that my husband was an alcoholic, my sister-in-law responded they had to block his number from calling their business 800 number as he was calling them when all drunk
excellent lesson in detachment
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
I have a unique situation, I work at his parents business, and I used to cover for him and make him look good, because I wanted them all to be proud of him. I thought that might help him stop drinking. His father and him don't even speak to one another right now because of things he has done over the years but especially the last 3 years.
I am now learning to speak the truth, if asked a question I do answer them but atleast now it is truthfully. I try to be fair and not put him down. So like I said I am learning. I guess that is all part of letting go. I know that eventually I will have to stop responding and say if you want to know about him ask him. But I have a very close relationship with them and that is very hard.
Thanks for you experience, those of us who haven't figure it out yet need people like you.
