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Been having an argument with my ex-h/a he says I should be careful what I pray for and how I pray. He suggested the pray in the big book on awakening. This just doesnt seem right for me. What things do you all say and pray for? I know this may seem like a strange question but I have not prayed for anything since i was a small child and have forgotten how. Please help
Hi Melaniel! I 'm glad you raised this topic. It's a good one! I've struggled with the "higher power" thing a lot! As well as the "God" thing!
I was brought up in the Anglican church in the UK (mostly) and while I loved the stories about Jesus (especially in relation to children--perhaps because I spent years in an orphanage) and loved the music (I sang in a church choir for many years), I still didn't have a clue how you take that "higher power" into your daily life and let it transform you! I was confused about the rules, behavior,requirements and so on, and NEVER felt like I would qualify for heaven!
Thanks to the recovery program I've been able to let something good happen in my life, that's not exactly "prayer", but perhaps you could call it an openness or an allowing. Trust in life itself, you could say, and finding some ways to trust myself. Of course I've had to bang my head on a lot of walls and make lots of mistakes to even get this much clue!
I often wake up in the night--around 4am usually--and I just sort of hang there, asking something or someone to help me get clear about what I need to do with my life and who I want to be. I make an effort to sense that there is a higher intelligence at work in the universe, and that this power operates in my life as well, as long as I pay some attention. So it's not so much a question of --is God there? But rather, am I there?
We all have to find our own way with this, so good luck! You will!
When I pray I just generally pray for thoes I care about. Like many of my friends here that need it and for my loved ones. I pray to who ever will listen. Lately I pray for my husband for his health and for him to find happiness in any way and for him to find sobriety. I pray alot for my kids. The prayers I make for myself are the ones that I have dificulty with but I pray that I get healthy and be available to raise my kids and I pray for my understanding and pacience.
I have the big blue book and do read it I think it is fine as alanon follows the steps. AA helps our loved ones but also helps us there is even a chapter for the wives.
I believe that prayers are heard by my HP weather it is god or another power greater then myself. I have been blessed and have witnessed that I DO have a HP I don't have to understand it but just believe and recognise it when a message is being sent to me. My recent health problems have gotten better and I do believe that all of the prayers my friends have said for me have worked!!
The other night I prayed for the forst time like I used to when I was a young child and it felt good!!
I would not worry so much HP/God is very forgiving and if you need to pray then just pray how you feel comfortable.
Hi Melanie - I like a lot of what seachange said and feel the same.
I was raised in churc but am not a religious person. Some time my Higher Power is the al-Anon table and sometimes Good Orderly Direction.
I talk to my Higher Power, that I don't understand, and ask for serenity for that day. When I feel my serenity is challenged I usually just say "Help, I can't do this alone". Usually in the morning when I say the Serenity Prayer I also ask what I can do for my Higher Power that day.
When I started alanon, I prayed just about any way I wanted too. (my will, ) The most important thing to do is just pray, not really worry about the "how" part to start with. That will come. For me, it's talking to the one who made me, My Creator, starting that simple. I feel like I have a loving parent watching over me, guiding me. My prayers are very informal, very short. Seems to be working better than anything I ever learned in church and Sunday school. And...praying for others is a biggy!
I had a hard time figuring out how to pray. I rejected the formal prayers that I had learned because they didn't seem personal at all. When I mentioned my problem to my father, he told me the 4 elements of prayer: praise, gratitude, petition, and forgiveness. I now use these four elements and have added a fifth...listening to hear what my higher power wants for me to hear. It has allowed me ro feel that my prayers are full and complete.
Thank you so much for that. I think I am doing it right, my ex-a just threw me for a moment. His way is not my way. My god is more gentle and understanding , and a lot less formal that his I think. I have read the step 3 prayer and somehow it just doesnt seem right for me. So for now i am going to carry on doing it my way.
I don't think there is a wrong way to pray. The way I look at it is that my HP who I choose to believe is God knows me better than anyone and loves me more than anyone. I choose to have a personal relationship, talking about just about anything. I am not going to take the time to worry about the proper things to say, or what to ask for, or to be careful how I word it, so as to effect the consequenses. My HP knows what is in my mind and more importantly what is in my heart, so I might as well speak it out. If I don't not only am I trying to fool him but myself as well.
So I would think that no matter who a persons HP is, it it a part of their very being. For that reason, I guess my answer to how to pray, would be passionatly and honestly. Let your HP worry about the rest.
I agree with your a on one thing, I think we should be careful what we pray for we might just get it. LOL
I found myself praying for things that I thought I wanted and then when they happened they weren't always as wonderful as I envisioned. Prayer is a great tool, but I find it best to pray for insight and understand of God's will for us and not to change others or for things that may not turn out to be the best for us.
In any event only you know what you need to pray for but thats what I have found.
Hi Melanie, I have learned to never discuss my beliefs with anyone , especially my husb. hehe
Who says' I am not doing it right? them ? The freedom that our program allows I really appreciate because if I had to do it a certain way I would have left Al-Anon. I treat the God of my understanding like a friend i talk to too him all day .
I get up in the morning and say good morning God what are we doing to day.? just reminds me that I am no longer running my life, and who is in charge. I simply ask that He take care of the people I love and help me be a better person today. then set about trying to have a good day.
Prayer is private and personal and it appears as if He really dosnet matter how we do it. In our lit there is a one liner that says every good thought is a prayer. sounds good to me
) 
The most important thing to do is just pray, not really worry about the "how" part to start with. That will come. For me, it's talking to the one who made me, My Creator, starting that simple. I feel like I have a loving parent watching over me, guiding me. My prayers are very informal, very short. Seems to be working better than anything I ever learned in church and Sunday school. And...praying for others is a biggy!